1 Ophelia: {reading} "We the People..." Well, first we have to define specifically who these "people" are.
2 Loren: Everyone! That's the whole principle of American democracy!
2 Ophelia: Non-Americans?
3 Loren: Well... no.
3 Ophelia: Illegal immigrants?
3 Loren: Of course not.
4 Ophelia: Political activists? Atheists? The poor?
4 Loren: Um. Let me make a phone call...

Ophelia is making a start on the project of ISO-9001 compliance for the US Constitution. And, as with any government project the world over, the problems start a mere three words in.

The US Constitution begins with a Preamble, as follows:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Of course this was written in the 18th century, when such flowery prose was the norm, and not merely the prerogative of fanfics.

Hmmm.... Now there's an idea. A Constitution fanfic...