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1 Lambert: My Uncle Bilbert was once indentured as a chef for a human Lord. The humans from miles around my village took many of us as vassals.
2 Lambert: It was a terrible time. The human overseers would punish us terribly at the slightest provocation. They seemed to get enjoyment out of it.
3 Lambert: The king had to pass a law stating that humans could only beat serfs with their hands, and not their feet.
4 Mordekai: You mean...
4 Lambert: Yes. They couldn't kick their fealty hobbits.
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Of course what the human lords liked most was getting hobbit children and raising them in the ways of humans, before they became too used to hobbit society. To help with this cultural brainwashing, they used to starve the poor children as well.
Since they all knew that indoctrination works best on empty vassals.
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