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Poll Results

All Previous Polls: 1-50

Poll 1: Who is your favourite character?

Total votes: 578

Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: 149 (25.8%)  
Me: 87 (15.1%)
Steve: 70 (12.1%)
Draak: 51 (8.8%)
Cthulhu: 41 (7.1%)
Shakespeare: 26 (4.5%)
Monty Jones: 21 (3.6%)
Erwin: 19 (3.3%)
Ophelia: 15 (2.6%)
Head Death: 13 (2.2%)
Nigerian Finance Minister: 11 (1.9%)
Colonel Haken: 8 (1.4%)
Charity Collector Guy: 7 (1.2%)
Alvissa: 5 (0.9%)
Lambert: 5 (0.9%)
Prof. North Dakota Jones: 5 (0.9%)
Iki Piki: 4 (0.7%)
Spanners: 4 (0.7%)
Hitler's Brain: 3 (0.5%)
Minnesota Jones: 3 (0.5%)
Mordekai: 3 (0.5%)
Paris: 3 (0.5%)
Terry: 3 (0.5%)
Dino Boy: 2 (0.3%)
Kyros: 2 (0.3%)
Serron: 2 (0.3%)
Captain Spatula: 1 (0.2%)
Geltschilling: 1 (0.2%)
James Stud: 1 (0.2%)
Jane Goodall: 1 (0.2%)
Refractive Man: 1 (0.2%)
Sallah: 1 (0.2%)
Worm Master: 1 (0.2%)
OTHER: 9 (1.6%)


Poll 2: Which is your favourite theme?

Total votes: 556

Death: 142 (25.5%)
Star Wars: 85 (15.3%)
Fantasy: 76 (13.7%)
Cliffhangers: 70 (12.6%)
Me: 54 (9.7%)
Steve and Terry: 29 (5.2%)
Harry Potter: 26 (4.7%)
Space: 23 (4.1%)
Nigerian Finance Minister: 11 (2.0%)  
Shakespeare: 11 (2.0%)
Espionage: 9 (1.6%)
Pirates: 9 (1.6%)
Supers: 6 (1.1%)
Martians: 3 (0.5%)
Miscellaneous: 2 (0.4%)

I can truthfully say: When people were asked if they preferred Me or Death, nearly three times as many people chose Death.


Poll 3: What helps most to make IWC cool?

Total votes: 557

Commentary annotations: 118 (21.2%)  
Obscure geeky gags: 108 (19.4%)
Lego!: 74 (13.3%)
Science lessons: 56 (10.1%)
Role-playing stuff: 54 (9.7%)
Sleazy puns: 52 (9.3%)
Interesting characters: 30 (5.4%)
Extended story arcs: 29 (5.2%)
Dinosaurs!: 18 (3.2%)
One-off jokes: 9 (1.6%)
Social commentary rants: 6 (1.1%)
Site design/navigation: 3 (0.5%)

Several people asked me why I didn't include an "All of the above" option, becase they wanted to vote for that. I considered it, but realised that almost everyone would probably choose that option, and I wouldn't actually learn anything from this poll.


Poll 4: Logic puzzle! Are you voting in this poll?

Total votes: 188(*)

No: 188 (100.0%)  

(*) Actually, I recorded 340 responses. 188 were valid votes, the other 152 people submitted the <choose> indicator, which is normally just discarded as an invalid vote. Very sneaky and clever. I was tempted to discard all the "No" votes as well, on the grounds that you're clearly lying - which would mean nobody actually voted at all.


Poll 5: What's the funniest branch of science?

Total votes: 446

Quantum Physics: 142 (31.8%)  
Relativity: 53 (11.9%)
Paleontology: 50 (11.2%)
Number Theory: 45 (10.1%)
Thermodynamics: 39 (8.7%)
Genetics: 38 (8.5%)
Astrophysics: 23 (5.2%)
Organic Chemistry: 16 (3.6%)
Biochemistry: 11 (2.5%)
Calculus: 9 (2.0%)
OTHER: 20 (4.5%)

I'm surprised so many people find number theory funny. We have a peculiarly rarefied response group.


Poll 6: What's the most obscure equation you recognise and understand?

Total votes: 682

THAC0 = 21 - level - hit bonus   156 (22.9%)  
Recreation: To Hit Armour Class 0 score for a warrior in Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, 2nd Edition.
d/dx ln(x) = 1/x94 (13.8%)  
Calculus: The derivative of the natural logarithm function is an hyperbola.
xn + ynzn, for n > 270 (10.3%)  
Number theory: Fermat's Last Theorem.
sin2θ + cos2θ = 154 (7.9%)  
Trigonometry: One of the most fundamental identities.
E = mc240 (5.9%)  
Special relativity: Einstein's famous mass-energy equation.
N = R* fp ne fl fi fc L37 (5.4%)  
Astrobiology: The Drake equation.
e + 1 = 034 (5.0%)  
Complex analysis: Euler's identity.
BMI = w/h227 (4.0%)  
Health: The formula to calculate Body Mass Index.
1 + 1 = 223 (3.4%)  
Arithmetic: A simple addition.
s->c_str()[s->size()] == '\0'22 (3.2%)  
Computer science: The element of a C-style C++ string at index equal to the string length is a null character.
2H2 + O2 → 2H2O22 (3.2%)  
Chemistry: Hydrogen and oxygen make water by combustion.
HΨ = ih/2π d/dt Ψ22 (3.2%)  
Quantum mechanics: The Schrödinger wave equation.
Eik = 8πG/c4 tik14 (2.1%)  
General relativity: Einstein's field equation.
c = 12 (1.8%)  
Wave motion: Speed of light is the frequency multiplied by the wavelength.
2Φ = 011 (1.6%)  
Differential equations: Laplace's equation.
a2 = b2 + c211 (1.6%)  
Geometry: Pythagoras' theorem for right angled triangles.
Tr{F/Q} = ∑ni=1 σi(f)10 (1.5%)  
Algebra: Trace of an element in a number field as an extension of the rationals.
E.dA = q/ε10 (1.5%)  
Electromagnetism: Gauss' law.
F = ma7 (1.0%)  
Dynamics: Newton's Second Law
B = P(1 + r/n)nt6 (0.9%)  
Economics: Compound interest formula.

I've reformatted the equations to look nicer than the raw ASCII in the poll drop-down list.


Poll 7: How often do you catch up on IWC?

Total votes: 541

Daily: 442 (81.7%)
Few times a week: 54 (10.0%)  
Weekdays: 32 (5.9%)
Weekly: 8 (1.5%)
Less often: 5 (0.9%)

Since this poll ran for about half a week, there's an obvious selection effect in that people who check the site weekly or less often might not even have had the chance to vote. So I figure the last two categories are actually a bit more common than this poll indicates.


Poll 8: Star Wars on DVD?

Total votes: 959

Yes, but I'd rather the original versions: 338 (35.2%)  
I'm boycotting! Han shot first!: 192 (20.0%)
YES!!! My Precioussss...: 159 (16.6%)
I guess so, but Lucas sucks: 121 (12.6%)
No, VHS will do me just fine: 53 (5.5%)
No, I don't like Star Wars: 53 (5.5%)
What are you talking about?: 43 (4.5%)


Poll 9: Have you ever found a mistake in IWC?

Total votes: 594

Never! You're perfect! I love you!: 311 (52.4%)
Once, but it was minor. Everyone makes mistakes.: 144 (24.2%)  
A few times, but I never bothered saying so.: 102 (17.2%)
Yes! I sent you an email! I'm so proud and nerdy!: 26 (4.4%)
I've caught a few and let you know.: 8 (1.3%)
I can't recall a strip *without* a mistake.: 2 (0.3%)
Hey! You made a mistake in this poll HTML code!: 1 (0.2%)

I set this poll up with a deliberate "mistake" in the HTML code, that assigned any votes for "Hey! You made a mistake in this poll HTML code!" to be votes for the option "Never! You're perfect! I love you!" A few people mailed to say they noticed, but only one was nerdy enough to fake a HTTP request with the correct form response code to actually register a vote for "Hey! You made a mistake in this poll HTML code!" Kudos to that reader.


Poll 10: What should I ask for the next poll?

Total votes: 779

What should I ask for the next poll?: 212 (27.2%)
What geeky subject am I most obsessed with?: 178 (22.8%)
Favourite subatomic particle?: 131 (16.8%)
Should Ginny Smith keep up with the Joneses?: 121 (15.5%)
Which character is most likely to elope with Jar Jar?: 91 (11.7%)  
Favourite speech bubble colour?: 27 (3.5%)
Is this poll for real?: 18 (2.3%)
What the hell are you asking me for?: 3 (0.4%)

Nice and recursive. I approve. I won't be beholden to polls though. ;-)

After the last poll, a few people tried to be tricky this time around and vote for non-existent options by faking an HTTP request. Too late, guys...


Poll 11: Which character would make the best US President?

Total votes: 674

Cthulhu: 108 (16.0%)
Head Death: 100 (14.8%)
The Allosaurus: 83 (12.3%)
Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: 77 (11.4%)  
Draak: 60 (8.9%)
Steve: 48 (7.1%)
Terry: 35 (5.2%)
Nigerian Finance Minister: 30 (4.5%)
Erwin: 27 (4.0%)
Hitler's Brain: 26 (3.9%)
Prof. North Dakota Jones: 21 (3.1%)
Alvissa: 20 (3.0%)
OTHER: 14 (2.1%)
Colonel Haken: 10 (1.5%)
Captain Spatula: 7 (1.0%)
Spanners: 5 (0.7%)
Lambert: 4 (0.6%)

It seems even my mighty campaign for the Allosaurus cannot overcome the feeling among the public that one should not choose the lesser evil, and Cthulhu has come out on top. I'm surprised that Head Death did so well too, although I have to admit he does know how to run a very large and powerful organisation. It's interesting that the top 5 candidates are all non-human. I think this says something insightful about the feelings of today's voters.


Poll 12: Favourite elementary particle?

Total votes: 631

Quark, Strange: 145 (23.0%)
Higgs Boson: 91 (14.4%)
Electron: 73 (11.6%)
Graviton: 67 (10.6%)
Neutrino (any type): 66 (10.5%)  
Photon: 64 (10.1%)
Gluon: 35 (5.5%)
Muon: 27 (4.3%)
OTHER: 27 (4.3%)
Quark, Other: 17 (2.7%)
Z Boson: 8 (1.3%)
Quark, Up: 6 (1.0%)
Quark, Down: 3 (0.5%)
W Boson (+ or -): 2 (0.3%)

I worried a little about splitting the quark votes with the options I presented, but it seems enough people like strange quarks over the other types that it wasn't really a problem. Pity the poor Z and W bosons... I guess the weak nuclear force is the least popular fundamental force.


Poll 13: Kangaroos:

Total votes: 546

Dangerous when armed with Stinger missiles: 246 (45.1%)
Lethal claws that can disembowel a grown adult: 93 (17.0%)
Nice with a bush tomato and native pepper sauce: 74 (13.6%)  
Ah yes, Macropus rufus, an herbivorous marsupial: 52 (9.5%)
Cute and cuddly: 40 (7.3%)
Proud symbol of a great nation: 17 (3.1%)
Bloody pests ruining pasture land: 13 (2.4%)
Pet food: 7 (1.3%)
A great football team: 4 (0.7%)

Clearly lots of readers are familiar with the bit of Internet lore about the Stinger-armed kangaroos. Personally, I prefer my 'roos with a nice sauce and garlic mashed potatoes.


Poll 14: How long have you been reading IWC?

Total votes: 711

Over a year: 229 (32.2%)
Six months to a year: 182 (25.6%)  
Since 2002!: 94 (13.2%)
Three to six months: 94 (13.2%)
One to three months: 68 (9.6%)
Less than a month: 27 (3.8%)
Er... about 30 seconds: 17 (2.4%)

I must say I'm surprised at how many people have been reading Irregular Webcomic! since 2002, considering only one strip appeared in that year, on 31 December.


Poll 15: Most underrated cool fact?

Total votes: 765

Concrete sets underwater: 283 (37.0%)
Time is relative: 133 (17.4%)
Ice floats on water: 99 (12.9%)
Birds evolved from dinosaurs: 59 (7.7%)
Troy was a real city: 52 (6.8%)
The night sky is dark: 51 (6.7%)
Continents move across the Earth: 45 (5.9%)  
The sun is a star: 26 (3.4%)
Solar eclipses happen: 17 (2.2%)

It seems there's a lot of concrete fans out there. Time being relative is the foundation of relativity. Ice floating is a consequence of the extremely unusual property of water that it expands when it cools to freezing point - a property that means ice shelves float on the oceans, insulating the water underneath, rather than the oceans freezing solid from the bottom, which would be rather nasty.

That the sun is a star is probably my own greatest "Wow!" fact - it's a completely non-obvious thing that nobody knew until just over 100 years ago. It's taken for granted these days; kids are told the sun is a star before they even go to school (at least my kids would be, if I had any). Everyone knows it, but thinking about how much of human history went by before anyone knew it, and what led to that discovery, it just mind-blowing.

But my most underrated cool fact is that the night sky is dark. And I see it's so underrated that relatively few of you even bothered to vote for it!


Poll 16: What time zone are you in (ignore daylight savings)?

Total votes: 736

GMT-5 (Eastern USA): 207 (28.1%)
GMT-8 (Western USA): 108 (14.7%)
GMT+1 (Western Europe): 104 (14.1%)
GMT-6 (Central USA): 97 (13.2%)
GMT (United Kingdom): 81 (11.0%)
GMT-7 (Mountain USA): 41 (5.6%)
GMT+10 (Eastern Australia): 38 (5.2%)  
GMT+2 (South Africa): 33 (4.5%)
OTHER: 9 (1.2%)
GMT+12 (New Zealand): 6 (0.8%)
GMT+8 (China): 5 (0.7%)
GMT-4 (Caribbean): 3 (0.4%)
GNT+5.5 (India): 1 (0.1%)
GMT-9 (Alaska): 1 (0.1%)
GMT-10 (Hawaii): 1 (0.1%)
GMT+4 (UAE): 1 (0.1%)
GMT+9 (Japan): 0 (0.0%) 
GMT+6 (Sri Lanka): 0 (0.0%) 
GMT+7 (Thailand): 0 (0.0%) 
GMT+3 (Western Russia): 0 (0.0%) 
GMT-3 (Eastern Brazil): 0 (0.0%) 
GMT+5 (Pakistan): 0 (0.0%) 


Poll 17: Most likely way for Steve to die?

Total votes: 814

Assassinated by Jane Goodall: 278 (34.2%)
An insanely overpowered fireball: 201 (24.7%)  
Shot by Greedo: 129 (15.8%)
Sat on by a giant frog: 85 (10.4%)
Wrestling Cthulhu: 79 (9.7%)
Eaten by a dinosaur: 17 (2.1%)
Wrestling a stroppy gorilla: 14 (1.7%)
Wrestling a crocodile: 11 (1.4%)

I thought of adding "Living for over 900 years" as an option, but fell back on my principle that if over 90% of people are likely to choose that option then it's better not to include it, as the overall results will be pretty boring. I felt justified when at least a dozen people took the effort to express to me their disappointment that they couldn't choose "old age" or "he's immortal" or "living for over 900 years".


Poll 18: Favourite herbivorous dinosaur family?

Total votes: 607

Stegosaurs: 211 (34.8%)
Ankylosaurs: 101 (16.6%)
Sauropods: 77 (12.7%)
Ceratopsians: 68 (11.2%)
Iguanadontids: 50 (8.2%)
Hadrosaurs: 39 (6.4%)
Pachycephalosaurs: 38 (6.3%)  
Hypsolophodonts: 23 (3.8%)


Poll 19: Worst job in IWC?

Total votes: 801

Nazi who changes Hitler's embalming fluid: 240 (30.0%)  
Death of Drowning In A Cesspit: 159 (19.9%)
Life insurance agent for Steve: 132 (16.5%)
Barkeep at the fantasy tavern: 92 (11.5%)
Imperial stormtrooper: 78 (9.7%)
Personal assistant to Mr Marlowe: 60 (7.5%)
Nigerian Finance Department's accountant: 40 (5.0%)


Poll 20: Favourite cuisine?

Total votes: 633

Italian: 124 (19.6%)
Chinese: 90 (14.2%)
Mexican: 80 (12.6%)
OTHER: 76 (12.0%)
Japanese: 56 (8.8%)
Junk food: 48 (7.6%)  
Thai: 48 (7.6%)
Indian: 43 (6.8%)
British: 35 (5.5%)
French: 18 (2.8%)
Greek: 15 (2.4%)


Poll 21: The inevitable U.S. election poll: Vote!

Total votes: 818

The Allosaurus: 489 (59.8%)  
Kerry: 243 (29.7%)
Bush: 85 (10.4%)
Draak: 1 (0.1%)

And it's a landslide for the Allosaurus!

Although Draak didn't even appear on the ballot, someone submitted a write-in vote for him by hacking the CGI form HTML, so I thought that was deserving enough to be counted.


Poll 22: Why isn't green called purple?

Total votes: 1116

Contingencies of linguistic history.: 400 (35.8%)
What would we call purple then?!: 353 (31.6%)
Isn't it?: 105 (9.4%)
Man, you have no colour sense at all.: 75 (6.7%)
Ask your mother.: 61 (5.5%)
What an insightful question... hmmm...: 43 (3.9%)  
It's the will of God.: 43 (3.9%)
That would be stupid!: 36 (3.2%)


Poll 23: Coolest natural disaster?

Total votes: 742

Meteorite strike: 370 (49.9%)
Volcanic eruption: 155 (20.9%)  
Tsunami: 97 (13.1%)
Plague: 39 (5.3%)
Hurricane/Cyclone: 26 (3.5%)
Earthquake: 22 (3.0%)
Tornado: 16 (2.2%)
Fire: 7 (0.9%)
Flood: 6 (0.8%)
Drought: 4 (0.5%)


Poll 24: Most likely to do time in Purgatory?

Total votes: 918

Me (the cartoonist): 337 (36.7%)
Nigerian Finance Minister: 129 (14.1%)
Erwin: 79 (8.6%)
Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: 68 (7.4%)  
Steve: 66 (7.2%)
Dr Ginny Smith: 57 (6.2%)
Hitler's Brain: 45 (4.9%)
Mr Marlowe: 33 (3.6%)
Colonel Haken: 26 (2.8%)
Lambert: 21 (2.3%)
Kyros: 21 (2.3%)
Mordekai: 18 (2.0%)
Aqualich: 18 (2.0%)

You poor, misguided fools. Only people who repent their sins go to Purgatory...

I'm completely unrepentant for all those sleazy science puns!


Poll 25: True or False?

Total votes: 946

True, remainder of expression not evaluated: 365 (38.6%)
I don't know... why do you make me choose?: 209 (22.1%)  
Maybe!: 186 (19.7%)
True!: 132 (14.0%)
False!: 54 (5.7%)

It seems we have a lot of computer programmers in the audience. For those of you who don't understand the most popular answer... Consider yourselves lucky.


Poll 26: What's your best non-standard sense?

Total votes: 1026

Sense of humour: 396 (38.6%)
Common sense: 170 (16.6%)
Sense of direction: 122 (11.9%)  
Sixth sense: 96 (9.4%)
Sense of timing: 93 (9.1%)
Sense of adventure: 60 (5.8%)
Sense of decorum: 48 (4.7%)
Fashion sense: 21 (2.0%)
Weather sense: 20 (1.9%)


Poll 27: Tomato?

Total votes: 769

FRUIT!!!: 284 (36.9%)
Fruit: 167 (21.7%)
VEGETABLE!!!: 130 (16.9%)  
Vegetable: 107 (13.9%)
Fruit!: 50 (6.5%)
Vegetable!: 31 (4.0%)
[Stuffed: 670 (87.0%)]

There are some interesting stats to come out of this poll:

  • 510 people (66.3%) voted for fruit, while 259 (33.7%) opted for vegetable.
  • 414 people (53.8%) are really strident in their conviction that a tomato is one or the other option, while 274 (35.6%) are quite mild about it. Only 81 (10.5%) are of middling strength conviction.
  • One person out there apparently likes stuffed tomatoes so much that he tried to stuff the ballot with 670 votes.
  • A few people wrote to tell me that in 1887 the Supreme Court of the United States actually ruled that a tomato is a vegetable.
  • This question is a really good way to start an argument.

Poll 28: Okay then, who's going straight to Hell?

Total votes: 852

Hitler's Brain: 252 (29.6%)
Nigerian Finance Minister: 181 (21.2%)
Steve: 105 (12.3%)
Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: 73 (8.6%)  
Mr Marlowe: 45 (5.3%)
Colonel Haken: 41 (4.8%)
Kyros: 39 (4.6%)
Dr Ginny Smith: 34 (4.0%)
Lambert: 24 (2.8%)
Mordekai: 24 (2.8%)
Aqualich: 23 (2.7%)
Erwin: 11 (1.3%)


Poll 29: How do you pronounce sinh-1(x)?

Total votes: 950

Huh??: 266 (28.0%)
inverse hyperbolic sine of x: 199 (20.9%)
arc-sine-aitch of x: 61 (6.4%)
sine-aitch to the minus one of x: 58 (6.1%)  
sine-aitch to the minus one x: 55 (5.8%)
inverse hyperbolic sine x: 52 (5.5%)
inverse sine-aitch of x: 46 (4.8%)
hyperbolic sine inverse of x: 33 (3.5%)
arc-sine-aitch x: 32 (3.4%)
arc-shine x: 29 (3.1%)
inverse shine x: 18 (1.9%)
sine-aitch inverse of x: 17 (1.8%)
inverse shine of x: 16 (1.7%)
arc-shine of x: 14 (1.5%)
inverse sine-aitch x: 13 (1.4%)
sine-aitch inverse x: 11 (1.2%)
shine to the minus one x: 10 (1.1%)
shine inverse x: 8 (0.8%)
shine to the minus one of x: 6 (0.6%)
hyperbolic sine inverse x: 5 (0.5%)
shine inverse of x: 3 (0.3%)

Okay, this poll proves that there are some questions for which I can't anticipate all the answers. Several people wrote to tell me (or hacked the voting form) to indicate some variant using the pronunciation "sinch". It was a dozen or more, but I didn't keep careful count so didn't include them in the results. Apparently this is a relatively common pronunciation in the United States, but I'd never even heard of it.

Also, a few Europeans wrote to tell me they use a pronunciation something like "arcsinus hyperbolicus", based on Latin.

And for those who answered "Huh??", the hyperbolic sine function is used in fields such as engineering, physics, and other egghead subjects. (Also, that Wikipedia article indicates two common pronunciations for "sinh", which I obviously didn't look at when I wrote the poll question.)


Poll 30: What should Erwin do?

Total votes: 1024

Ask Dr Ginny Smith for a date: 454 (44.3%)
Flee to another webcomic: 182 (17.8%)
Kill Haken and become Colonel Erwin: 173 (16.9%)  
Assassinate Hitler's Brain: 86 (8.4%)
Flee to Switzerland: 45 (4.4%)
Defect to England: 42 (4.1%)
Maintain the status quo: 42 (4.1%)


Poll 31: How many other webcomics do you read?

Total votes: 1009

4-6: 207 (20.5%)
7-10: 163 (16.2%)
11-20: 162 (16.1%)
2 or 3: 148 (14.7%)
21-50: 121 (12.0%)
There are other webcomics?: 58 (5.7%)  
Just one: 49 (4.9%)
None: 38 (3.8%)
51-100: 33 (3.3%)
I don't even read this one!: 21 (2.1%)
Over 100!: 9 (0.9%)


Poll 32: Most offensive musical instrument?

Total votes: 940

Recorder badly played by child: 373 (39.7%)
Trumpet played by neighbour at 2am: 252 (26.8%)  
Kazoo: 125 (13.3%)
Bagpipes: 78 (8.3%)
Piano accordian: 49 (5.2%)
Violin: 29 (3.1%)
Drums: 20 (2.1%)
French horn: 14 (1.5%)

To you know who you are: Yes I do, and your mother wears army boots. ;-)


Poll 33: I dunno! Just pick an answer!

Total votes: 1116

Gelatinous cube: 255 (22.8%)
Schrödinger's equation: 160 (14.3%)
An orang-utan: 102 (9.1%)
Deep fried Mars bars: 87 (7.8%)
Next Wednesday: 87 (7.8%)
Pepperoni and mushrooms: 78 (7.0%)  
The Rock of Gibraltar: 75 (6.7%)
Integral calculus: 64 (5.7%)
Haruspication: 60 (5.4%)
OMG! WTF? LOL!: 55 (4.9%)
I want to believe: 51 (4.6%)
Jane Austen: 42 (3.8%)


Poll 34: Favourite Festive Food?

Total votes: 915

Chocolate: 238 (26.0%)
Eggnog: 119 (13.0%)
Turkey stuffing: 87 (9.5%)  
Turkey: 83 (9.1%)
Ham: 67 (7.3%)
Spiced cider: 65 (7.1%)
Lebkuchen: 45 (4.9%)
Gingerbread: 45 (4.9%)
Shortbread: 37 (4.0%)
Mulled wine: 34 (3.7%)
Prawns: 31 (3.4%)
Fruitcake: 30 (3.3%)
Plum pudding: 22 (2.4%)
Chestnuts: 12 (1.3%)


Poll 35: Real person most likely to be annoyed at appearing in IWC?

Total votes: 1092

George Lucas: 371 (34.0%)
G.W. Bush: 236 (21.6%)
Nigerian Finance Minister: 164 (15.0%)  
Me: 86 (7.9%)
Hitler: 78 (7.1%)
Steve Irwin: 57 (5.2%)
Jane Goodall: 54 (4.9%)
Shakespeare: 46 (4.2%)


Poll 36: Where in Europe is Australia?

Total votes: 969

You mean the Former Yugoslav Republic of Australia?: 538 (55.5%)  
Off the coast of Italy: 173 (17.9%)
In northern England: 132 (13.6%)
No vote: 65 (6.7%)
Between Germany and Hungary: 61 (6.3%)
Near Romania somewhere: 47 (4.9%)
Between France and Spain: 18 (1.9%)

This was the most controversial poll yet. I received several e-mails from people and some hacked write-in CGI votes. They fell into four categories:

  • "Is this some sort of joke?" - Well, uh... yes.
  • "Er. Australia isn't in Europe." - Well, uh... yes.
  • "How dare you! I'm Australian, and I'm insulted that you imply we're so obscure that nobody knows where we are!" - Well, uh... I'm Australian too, actually.
  • "How dare you! I'm American and I'm insulted that you imply we're too ignorant to know where Australia is!" - Well, uh... I didn't say anything about Americans. I'm amused that you would jump to that conclusion, though.

Poll 37: 2005 is here! So when do we get moonbases?

Total votes: 1174

Never. Bloody NASA.: 319 (27.2%)
We've had them since the Cold War: 252 (21.5%)  
We had them in 1999: 144 (12.3%)
2050: 110 (9.4%)
2020: 97 (8.3%)
2030: 88 (7.5%)
2100: 76 (6.5%)
2015: 60 (5.1%)
2010: 28 (2.4%)


Poll 38: Who would make the best Formula One driver?

Total votes: 989

Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: 314 (31.7%)  
Steve: 151 (15.3%)
Draak: 149 (15.1%)
Kyros: 116 (11.7%)
Spanners: 54 (5.5%)
Minnesota Jones: 40 (4.0%)
Lambert: 37 (3.7%)
Monty Jones: 33 (3.3%)
Erwin: 26 (2.6%)
Terry: 26 (2.6%)
Nigerian Finance Minister: 23 (2.3%)
Colonel Haken: 20 (2.0%)


Poll 39: George Lucas' biggest mistake?

Total votes: 1361

Everything after 1980: 406 (29.8%)
Midichlorians: 310 (22.8%)
Jar Jar: 240 (17.6%)
Greedo shooting first: 170 (12.5%)
Hayden Christensen: 84 (6.2%)
Killing off Darth Maul: 43 (3.2%)
Ewoks: 34 (2.5%)
Luke/Leia brother/sister kiss: 31 (2.3%)  
Jake Lloyd: 26 (1.9%)
Coruscant: 10 (0.7%)
C-3PO: 7 (0.5%)


Poll 40: What cheese is the moon made of?

Total votes: 1226

Wensleydale: 293 (23.9%)
Processed cheese food: 170 (13.9%)  
Swiss: 163 (13.3%)
Gorgonzola: 112 (9.1%)
Gouda: 90 (7.3%)
Cheddar: 77 (6.3%)
Feta: 72 (5.9%)
Limburger: 69 (5.6%)
Brie: 58 (4.7%)
Mozzarella: 54 (4.4%)
Parmesan: 49 (4.0%)
Cottage: 19 (1.5%)

It seems there's a good few Wallace & Gromit fans out there.


Poll 41: Favourite football?

Total votes: 1180

I despise them all equally: 393 (33.3%)  
Soccer: 200 (16.9%)
Blood Bowl(TM): 190 (16.1%)
American: 152 (12.9%)
Foosball: 76 (6.4%)
Australian rules: 44 (3.7%)
Canadian: 35 (3.0%)
Rugby union: 34 (2.9%)
Gaelic: 30 (2.5%)
Rugby league: 22 (1.9%)
Calcio Fiorentino: 4 (0.3%)


Poll 42: What should the three Martians be called?

Total votes: 1235

Alpher, Bethe, and Gamow: 252 (20.4%)
Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar: 205 (16.6%)  
Crosby, Stills, and Nash: 139 (11.3%)
Pavarotti, Domingo, and Carreras: 113 (9.1%)
Groucho, Harpo, and Chico: 112 (9.1%)
Tom, Dick, and Harry: 104 (8.4%)
Larry, Moe, and Curly: 99 (8.0%)
Jill, Sabrina, and Kelly: 80 (6.5%)
Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades: 66 (5.3%)
Huey, Dewey, and Louie: 65 (5.3%)


Poll 43: Silliest idea of the future that never happened?

Total votes: 1250

Meal in a pill: 446 (35.7%)
Paperless office: 251 (20.1%)
Two-day working week: 165 (13.2%)
Flying cars: 94 (7.5%)
Weather control: 71 (5.7%)
Broadcast electrical power: 69 (5.5%)
Voice recognition software that works: 53 (4.2%)  
Self-programming computers: 40 (3.2%)
Household robot servants: 26 (2.1%)
Cold fusion: 20 (1.6%)
Moonbases: 15 (1.2%)


Poll 44: What sort of sandwiches did Erwin make?

Total votes: 1242

Sliced sausage and German mustard: 211 (17.0%)
Black Forest ham and swiss: 198 (15.9%)
Vegemite: 154 (12.4%)
Corned beef and sauerkraut on rye: 152 (12.2%)
Liverwurst: 130 (10.5%)
Cucumber on white with crusts removed: 113 (9.1%)
Peanut butter and jelly: 93 (7.5%)
Pastrami and provolone on pumpernickel: 80 (6.4%)  
Bacon, lettuce, and tomato: 61 (4.9%)
Turkey, brie, and cranberry sauce: 50 (4.0%)


Poll 45: Most exotic place you've visited?

Total votes: 1138

Across an ocean: 450 (39.5%)
Another continent: 195 (17.1%)
Across an international border: 190 (16.7%)  
Across the country: 108 (9.5%)
A few countries away: 93 (8.2%)
The next state/province/county: 34 (3.0%)
Space: 34 (3.0%)
Into town: 14 (1.2%)
The "big city": 14 (1.2%)
Antarctica: 6 (0.5%)

This one prompted several comments along the lines of:
This is unfair to Europeans, who can cross several countries without leaving the continent.
and
This is unfair to Australians, who can't get to another country without crossing an ocean.
and
This is unfair to Americans, who can travel the width of Europe without leaving the country.
and
How do you define "exotic"? Germany is exotic to someone from Kenya, but not to a native, and vice versa.

Yes. That was the point. I like making polls that make you think, rather than just blindly choosing an answer.


Poll 46: Pick an option:

Total votes: 1081

You will pick this option. I have foreseen it: 239 (22.1%)  
Pick this option, you sexy thing: 178 (16.5%)
Pick this option or the kid gets it: 115 (10.6%)
Don't pick this option either: 113 (10.5%)
Don't pick this option: 92 (8.5%)
Option A: 68 (6.3%)
Please pick this option: 57 (5.3%)
Pick this option to win!: 48 (4.4%)
Pick Option A: 45 (4.2%)
Pick this option or die: 43 (4.0%)
Don't pick Option A: 42 (3.9%)
No! Pick this one!: 34 (3.1%)
Pick this option: 7 (0.6%)

So, in order:

  1. I'm psychic.
  2. You like flattery.
  3. You are sympathetic to the suffering of others.
  4. You defy instructions.
You're not particularly swayed by politeness, the chance to "win!", or threats.
Poll 47: Chocolate?

Total votes: 1346

Milk: 462 (34.3%)
Dark: 349 (25.9%)
Really dark (80%+ cocoa): 286 (21.2%)  
White: 155 (11.5%)
No, yuk: 37 (2.7%)
Sadly no, I can't: 34 (2.5%)
Pure cocoa powder: 17 (1.3%)
Unsweetened: 6 (0.4%)


Poll 48: Most surreal answer to this question?

Total votes: 1025

Perfectly normal answer: 218 (21.3%)  
With a trenchcoat: 149 (14.5%)
whrrrrr... click: 122 (11.9%)
Lebesgue integration: 115 (11.2%)
Splotbongle: 77 (7.5%)
Fish: 60 (5.9%)
James Joyce: 59 (5.8%)
^^^^!: 57 (5.6%)
Purple: 51 (5.0%)
Valid: 50 (4.9%)
Stonehenge: 35 (3.4%)
35: 32 (3.1%)

34 voters also decided to pick "<choose>" as their answer, which is somewhat surreal. One person answered "Dubbo", which is a town in central New South Wales. Having been there, I'd agree it's somewhat surreal.


Poll 49: Who would you most like dinner with?

Total votes: 1262

Ophelia: 239 (18.9%)
Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: 205 (16.2%)  
Alvissa: 193 (15.3%)
Head Death: 123 (9.7%)
Dr. Ginny Smith: 102 (8.1%)
Will Shakespeare: 90 (7.1%)
Draak: 80 (6.3%)
Terry: 42 (3.3%)
Erwin: 26 (2.1%)
Steve: 25 (2.0%)
Paris: 24 (1.9%)
Nigerian Finance Minister: 19 (1.5%)
Spanners: 15 (1.2%)
Dr. Monty Jones: 14 (1.1%)
Prof. North Dakota Jones: 12 (1.0%)
Mercutio: 9 (0.7%)
Mordekai: 9 (0.7%)
Iki Piki: 9 (0.7%)
Lambert: 9 (0.7%)
Prof. Minnesota Jones: 7 (0.6%)
Kyros: 5 (0.4%)
Colonel Haken: 5 (0.4%)
Serron: 2 (0.2%)

I'm guessing responders went for a romantic dinner slightly ahead of interesting conversation. Having a good hearty meal seems to have ranked very low (the choices would be Prof. Jones or Lambert).


Poll 50: Best James Bond?

Total votes: 900

One of the other guys: 274 (30.4%)
Connery. In Goldfinger: 211 (23.4%)
Connery. In Dr No: 123 (13.7%)
Connery. In From Russia With Love: 119 (13.2%)  
Connery. In You Only Live Twice: 83 (9.2%)
Connery. In Diamonds are Forever: 47 (5.2%)
Connery. In Thunderball: 43 (4.8%)

Well, in this totally unbiased poll, Connery beats every other Bond put together with nearly 70% of the total votes!

A few people wrote to mention David Niven or Woody Allen as their favourites (yes, I've seen Casino Royale too...)

One person suggested Connery in On Her Majesty's Secret Service, with the comment "What? That didn't happen in your universe? Man, you've missed out..." Indeed... that is a very good Bond film, and Connery's presence in it would probably make it rank even higher than the ever-popular Goldfinger.

I'm surprised Thunderball ranks so low.


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