Irregular Webcomic!

Archive     Cast     Forum     RSS     Books!     Poll Results     About     Search     Fan Art     Podcast     More Stuff     Random     Support on Patreon    
Updates: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday; reruns all other days

Poll Results

All Previous Polls: 301-350

Poll 301: Which household chore do you dislike the least?

Total votes: 2800

Taking out the rubbish: 463 (16.5%)
Laundry: 441 (15.8%)
Washing dishes: 400 (14.3%)
Cleaning the bathroom: 306 (10.9%)
Mowing the lawn: 295 (10.5%)
Vacuum cleaning: 254 (9.1%)
Ironing clothes: 159 (5.7%)
Dusting: 143 (5.1%)
Cleaning out gutters: 118 (4.2%)
Washing windows: 58 (2.1%)
Scrubbing tiles: 54 (1.9%)
Polishing glass/silverware: 44 (1.6%)  
Waxing floors: 35 (1.2%)
Polishing furniture: 30 (1.1%)


Poll 302: Have you ever played Dungeons & Dragons?

Total votes: 3775

No, I've never played a tabletop roleplaying game: 867 (23.0%)  
Yes, all three Editions: 603 (16.0%)
3rd Edition only: 587 (15.5%)
2nd and 3rd Editions only: 503 (13.3%)
Yeah, one time, I dunno what edition: 330 (8.7%)
1st and 2nd Editions only: 253 (6.7%)
No, I play another fantasy tabletop RPG: 210 (5.6%)
1st and 3rd Editions only: 128 (3.4%)
1st Edition only: 118 (3.1%)
2nd Edition only: 117 (3.1%)
No, I only play non-fantasy tabletop RPGs: 48 (1.3%)
I've played 4th Edition! (I work for WotC!): 11 (0.3%)

I knew that Dungeons & Dragons didn't really fall into an easily classifiable three editions when I wrote this question. There's all that complication of the original booklets, the split into D&D and Advanced D&D, Edition 3.5, and so on. I figured anyone who knew enough about D&D to know the details of all that would be able to subsume their knowledge into picking a sensible answer without getting all pedantic about it and requiring me to include about a bazillion options to cover all possible combinations.

Heh, silly me.


Poll 303: Yuk!

Total votes: 2815

Raw sewage: 684 (24.3%)
Vomit: 563 (20.0%)
Maggots: 480 (17.1%)
Baby poo: 320 (11.4%)
Really bad body odour: 190 (6.7%)  
Surgical procedures: 159 (5.6%)
Dog poo: 115 (4.1%)
Used chewing gum: 93 (3.3%)
Roadkill: 62 (2.2%)
Bugs: 57 (2.0%)
Spit: 43 (1.5%)
Slime: 27 (1.0%)
Blood: 22 (0.8%)


Poll 304: Feel the shape of your skull. Does it feel kind of weird?

Total votes: 3097

Huh? Just feels like a normal skull to me.: 971 (31.4%)
Yeah, I've noticed that before.: 660 (21.3%)
Well, it's a bit bumpy. Isn't that normal?: 543 (17.5%)
No, my skull feels perfectly fine, thank you!: 536 (17.3%)
I refuse to feel my skull! Doing so would be weirder!: 188 (6.1%)  
Why yes, it sort of does. Interesting.: 129 (4.2%)
I'm unable to feel my skull for some odd reason.: 70 (2.3%)


Poll 305: What do you want done with your remains when you're dead?

Total votes: 2893

I really don't care, I won't notice: 1029 (35.6%)
Cremated, ashes scattered somewhere: 478 (16.5%)
Donated to science: 394 (13.6%)
Burial in a coffin: 301 (10.4%)
Burnt on a pyre: 157 (5.4%)
Cryogenic freezing: 143 (4.9%)
Cremated, ashes interred in a cemetary: 100 (3.5%)  
Left in the open for animals to eat: 81 (2.8%)
Burial without a coffin: 70 (2.4%)
Burial at sea: 51 (1.8%)
Taxidermy: 41 (1.4%)
Cremated, ashes kept in an urn: 24 (0.8%)
Mummification: 24 (0.8%)


Poll 306: Describe your relationship with computer programming:

Total votes: 2758

We've met on occasion, I find it charming and want to see it more: 524 (19.0%)  
Love/Hate: Sometimes I really love it, sometimes I can't stand it: 475 (17.2%)
I think we might have met once: 332 (12.0%)
It's fickle, I know it doesn't care about me, but I love it anyway: 263 (9.5%)
We've never met, so I have no real opinion: 169 (6.1%)
I gave it love, but it betrayed me, foul stinking creature from Hell: 169 (6.1%)
Pure unadulterated mutual romantic love of the first degree: 153 (5.5%)
We've met on occasion, but I took an instant dislike to it: 133 (4.8%)
We've never met, but I've heard good things: 111 (4.0%)
I know it all too well, I try my hardest to avoid it at all costs: 110 (4.0%)
Wicked depraved lust expressed in hedonistic pleasures: 101 (3.7%)
I interact with it purely for money, I gain no pleasure or pain from it: 87 (3.2%)
I'm its slave, it whips me and beats me, but I can't escape!: 75 (2.7%)
We've never met, but I've heard bad things: 56 (2.0%)

One of the more entertaining hacked answers:

We had an affair a couple years ago, but have barely seen each other since. I keep saying I'll call, but never do. I get together with her friend HTML to hack polls, though.

Poll 307: Have you ever hitch-hiked?

Total votes: 2867

No, but I have no objection to it: 976 (34.0%)
Lawks no! That's dangerous!!!: 958 (33.4%)
Once or twice: 292 (10.2%)
No, but I've picked up hitch-hikers: 216 (7.5%)  
Only out of dire necessity: 162 (5.7%)
Yes, occasionally: 130 (4.5%)
No, but I plan to one day: 111 (3.9%)
Yeah, do it all the time: 22 (0.8%)


Poll 308: What was your answer to this question last time it appeared in the poll?

Total votes: 4004

The Allosaurus: 928 (23.2%)
I honestly don't remember: 713 (17.8%)
No, seriously, everyone likes chocolate cake: 521 (13.0%)
The same as next time: 390 (9.7%)
Is this a trick question?: 349 (8.7%)
Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: 308 (7.7%)
Different to the time before, but the same as this time: 279 (7.0%)  
Different to this time: 142 (3.5%)
Chocolate cake: 135 (3.4%)
I refused to answer that time: 125 (3.1%)
The same as the time before: 114 (2.8%)


Poll 309: Would you kill your future self if it was the only way to save your current self's life?

Total votes: 3450

No, I obviously live to become my future self, so there's no need to: 1321 (38.3%)
No, I'd die. And I'd like to see the universe try and get out of that one: 1037 (30.1%)
Yes, then I'll figure out how to avoid my future self's death when I get there: 479 (13.9%)  
Yes, then I'd refuse to go back in time later on: 139 (4.0%)
Yes, there's no choice - I'd die now if I didn't: 129 (3.7%)
Yes, then I'd come back in time and kill my current self before I kill myself: 112 (3.2%)
No, it would be like committing murder: 80 (2.3%)
Yes, better to die in the future than now: 67 (1.9%)
No, I'd nobly sacrifice myself to save my future self's life: 51 (1.5%)
No, it would be like committing suicide: 35 (1.0%)


Poll 310: Chocolate goes best with:

Total votes: 2776

Ice cream: 298 (10.7%)
Mint: 282 (10.2%)
Milk: 244 (8.8%)
Caramel: 225 (8.1%)
Strawberries: 180 (6.5%)
Coffee: 173 (6.2%)
Hazelnuts: 151 (5.4%)
Orange: 137 (4.9%)
Nothing, yuk!: 124 (4.5%)
Peanuts: 122 (4.4%)
Bananas: 111 (4.0%)
Cheesecake: 109 (3.9%)
Almonds: 101 (3.6%)
Chili: 95 (3.4%)
Cherries: 94 (3.4%)
Marshmallows: 87 (3.1%)
Nougat: 78 (2.8%)
Raisins: 77 (2.8%)
Macadamia nuts: 51 (1.8%)  
Orange peel: 37 (1.3%)

Okay, I get the message. This poll garnered more identical write-in and hacked-in and posted-to-the-forum responses than any other poll I've ever run. Approximately a metric bazillion of you wanted to say that chocolate goes best with "more chocolate!"

Seriously. I gave up counting after about the first 50 e-mails.


Poll 311: Have you read Darths & Droids?

Total votes: 3022

Yes, I'm loving it!: 1051 (34.8%)
Yes, it's amusing enough to keep me reading: 830 (27.5%)  
What? Holy cow! How did I miss that!: 376 (12.4%)
What? Oh, I see. Eh, not interested: 206 (6.8%)
Yes, not sure if I like it yet: 185 (6.1%)
No, I have too many comics to read already: 180 (6.0%)
No, I'm not interested in Star Wars: 78 (2.6%)
No, I refuse to out of sheer perversity: 71 (2.3%)
Yes, tried it, not my thing, sorry: 45 (1.5%)


Poll 312: Favourite item of stationery?

Total votes: 2851

Pencil: 606 (21.3%)
Post-it note: 465 (16.3%)
Staple remover: 248 (8.7%)  
Pen: 219 (7.7%)
Stapler: 175 (6.1%)
Paper: 174 (6.1%)
Bulldog clip: 146 (5.1%)
Scissors: 113 (4.0%)
Paper clip: 112 (3.9%)
Ruler: 100 (3.5%)
Highlighter: 97 (3.4%)
Rubber/Eraser: 83 (2.9%)
White-out: 72 (2.5%)
Manila folder: 61 (2.1%)
Ring binder: 54 (1.9%)
Sticky tape: 53 (1.9%)
Pencil sharpener: 53 (1.9%)
Envelope: 20 (0.7%)


Poll 313: Have you stopped torturing your cat yet?

Total votes: 2389

No: 1538 (64.4%)
Yes: 851 (35.6%)
<choose>: 637 (26.7%)
The Allosaurus: 22 (2.1%)  
Mu: 22 (0.9%)

This poll is a slight variant on the classic unanswerable loaded question: Have you stopped beating your wife? For a full discussion of it and the intricacies of logic and argument behind it, refer to Wikipedia: Fallacy of many questions. And if you don't understand why 22 separate people went to the bother to hack in the answer "Mu", also refer to Wikipedia: Mu.

I was originally going to ask exactly that ("Have you stopped beating your wife?") as the poll question, but I decided on some reflection that some people may take that as incredibly offensive. So I toned it down a bit. I realise it could still be construed as offensive, but there is no way to explore this particular type of question and what you as an audience might respond to it without risking offending someone. I judged that torturing a cat was, in some sense, less offensive than beating a wife, so went that way. I do not condone either the beating of wives or the torturing of cats.


Poll 314: How often are you awake at midnight?

Total votes: 3482

Almost every night: 1250 (35.9%)
A few times a week: 685 (19.7%)
Every night without fail: 581 (16.7%)  
About once a week: 382 (11.0%)
Once a month or so: 258 (7.4%)
A few times a year: 162 (4.7%)
Almost never: 98 (2.8%)
New Year's Eve: 44 (1.3%)
Never: 22 (0.6%)


Poll 315: How many plants are inside your home?

Total votes: 2959

None: 1125 (38.0%)  
1: 311 (10.5%)
2: 238 (8.0%)
3: 198 (6.7%)
4: 131 (4.4%)
5-7: 355 (12.0%)
8-10: 213 (7.2%)
11-15: 160 (5.4%)
16-20: 67 (2.3%)
20+: 161 (5.4%)


Poll 316: How old is the oldest thing you own?

Total votes: 3050

Less than 5 years: 22 (0.7%)
5-10 years: 78 (2.6%)
10-15 years: 121 (4.0%)
15-20 years: 207 (6.8%)
20-30 years: 309 (10.1%)
30-40 years: 217 (7.1%)
40-50 years: 172 (5.6%)
50-75 years: 287 (9.4%)
75-100 years: 338 (11.1%)
100-200 years: 498 (16.3%)
200-300 years: 81 (2.7%)
300-500 years: 46 (1.5%)
500-750 years: 15 (0.5%)
750-1000 years: 15 (0.5%)
1000-1500 years: 14 (0.5%)
1500-2000 years: 41 (1.3%)
Over 2000 years: 589 (19.3%)  

It was really not my intention for people to include things like rocks when they answered this question, but apparently a lot of you are literal enough (littoral enough?) to have thought of that possibility. I may rerun this poll later, specifically restricting it to human-made objects.


Poll 317: Given 50 ripe bananas, what would you do?

Total votes: 3397

Share them with friends/family: 638 (18.8%)
Make lots of banana cake or bread: 611 (18.0%)
Take them to work/school to share around: 556 (16.4%)
Think up some bizarre practical joke using them: 525 (15.5%)  
Offer them free to anyone who walks past: 229 (6.7%)
Live on bananas for the next few days: 168 (4.9%)
Donate them to some sort of worthy cause: 160 (4.7%)
Try to sell them somehow: 132 (3.9%)
Make lots of some other banana food: 127 (3.7%)
Eat a few, discard the rest: 109 (3.2%)
Make lots of banana ice cream: 97 (2.9%)
Throw them all away: 45 (1.3%)


Poll 318: Pick a number, any number.

Total votes: 3055

Other: 2205 (72.2%)  
372: 850 (27.8%)

Wow. Given the opportunity to pick any number at all, more than a quarter of you chose 372. I was clearly justified in choosing that as the only explicit option apart from "other".


Poll 319: Which of these statements do you most agree with?

Total votes: 3433

<choose> is an option: 777 (22.6%)
Black is a colour: 770 (22.4%)
Atheism is a religion: 406 (11.8%)
Silence is a conversation: 378 (11.0%)
NULL is a pointer: 255 (7.4%)
Naked is an outfit: 219 (6.4%)
John Cage's 4'33" is music: 182 (5.3%)
Nothing is something: 160 (4.7%)
Anarchy is a form of government: 128 (3.7%)  
A blank canvas is art: 51 (1.5%)
Not collecting stamps is a hobby: 50 (1.5%)
Vacuum is matter: 41 (1.2%)
Bald is a hair colour: 16 (0.5%)

I myself have spent many an enjoyable hour in my spare time not collecting stamps.


Poll 320: If you had faked your own death and then a year later bumped into your closest friend or relative, what would you say?

Total votes: 3502

"Sorry, I think you've mistaken me for someone else.": 936 (26.7%)
"Where are we? How did we get here? Weren't we at home a second ago?": 532 (15.2%)  
"Where have you been?! You never even said goodbye!": 519 (14.8%)
"I've been travelling through time.": 464 (13.2%)
"I'm in a witness protection program.": 444 (12.7%)
"I hated my life and wanted to start over again.": 295 (8.4%)
"I'm a spy.": 172 (4.9%)
"I was abducted by aliens.": 101 (2.9%)
"I needed to get away from the paparazzi.": 39 (1.1%)


Poll 321: You're in an enclosed space with a cobra. Who comes out alive?

Total votes: 3072

Me: 2128 (69.3%)
The cobra : 944 (30.7%)  


Poll 322: Okay, so you beat the cobra. Same deal: enclosed space, you, a taipan. Who comes out alive now?

Total votes: 2940

Me: 1594 (54.2%)
The taipan: 1346 (45.8%)  


Poll 323: Impressive. Very well. You're placed in an arena with no weapons, no cover, and a hungry tiger. Only one of you will be let out alive. Which will it be?

Total votes: 3486

The tiger: 2045 (58.7%)  
Me: 1441 (41.3%)


Poll 324: Is this the most boring poll ever to appear here?

Total votes: 3118

No: 2159 (69.2%)  
Yes: 959 (30.8%)

I'm afraid to ask.


Poll 325: Okay, but what's your most favourite thing?

Total votes: 3287

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes: 914 (27.8%)
Whiskers on kittens: 546 (16.6%)
Crisp apple strudels: 480 (14.6%)
Silver white winters that melt into springs: 340 (10.3%)
Brown paper packages tied up with strings: 258 (7.8%)
Schnitzel with noodles: 165 (5.0%)
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes: 136 (4.1%)
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings: 120 (3.7%)  
Raindrops on roses: 117 (3.6%)
Warm woollen mittens: 61 (1.9%)
Bright copper kettles: 47 (1.4%)
Cream-coloured ponies: 44 (1.3%)
Doorbells: 42 (1.3%)
Sleighbells: 17 (0.5%)


Poll 326: Which of these two is more likely?

Total votes: 3650

There have been secret permanently occupied moonbases since the 1950s: 1864 (51.1%)  
We've never been to the moon; the entire Apollo program was faked: 1786 (48.9%)

Wow. I think that's the closest two-choice poll result yet.

I find this an interesting question to pose, because both choices are clearly ludicrous, so it comes down to weighing up the relative likelihoods of two things which are both in the realm of extremely unlikely to impossible.

While I think that, technologically, it is more conceivable that the moon landings were faked, the amount of evidence supporting the fact that they really happened is overwhelming to the point that anyone who seriously doubts it is either deluded or being wilfully contrary to reality. And, as Sherlock Holmes says, when you have eliminated the impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. The evidence against 1950s moonbases is all circumstantial, not direct, so it is possible, however small the likelihood, that they do exist. But no matter how tiny that possibility is, it wins out over completely impossible.


Poll 327: Which would you most like to stand on top of?

Total votes: 3436

Mt Everest, Asia: 898 (26.1%)
Mt Kilimajaro, Africa: 677 (19.7%)
Vinson Massif, Antarctica: 637 (18.5%)
Mont Blanc, Europe: 409 (11.9%)
Mt Kosciuszko, Australia: 360 (10.5%)
Mt McKinley, North America: 337 (9.8%)
Cerro Aconcagua, South America: 118 (3.4%)  

9 separate people went to the bother to hack in "Olympus Mons, Mars" as their answer.

The reason I asked this particular questions is because while this poll was running I was away on vacation, and actually climbed to the top of Mount Kosciuszko. You can read about what it was like in my travel diary.

One continent down, only 6 to go!


Poll 328: Most annoying thing about Christmas?

Total votes: 3423

Shops decorating months too early: 602 (17.6%)
The whole damn thing!: 360 (10.5%)
Politically correct generic "seasons greetings": 295 (8.6%)
Inane carols everywhere: 288 (8.4%)
Commercialisation of a tradition: 273 (8.0%)
Christian symbolism forced on non-Christians: 249 (7.3%)
People who complain about any/all of the above: 248 (7.2%)
Not knowing what presents to get anyone: 225 (6.6%)
The cult of enforced joy: 199 (5.8%)
Secularisation of a religious occasion: 158 (4.6%)
Nothing! I love it all!: 103 (3.0%)
Overindulgent energy-guzzling light displays: 95 (2.8%)
Shopping crushes: 88 (2.6%)
Being alone when everyone else is celebrating: 63 (1.8%)
Having to get together with family: 61 (1.8%)
The TV specials: 47 (1.4%)
The bills: 46 (1.3%)
Driving all over town to see many families on the same day: 14 (0.4%)  
The overeating: 9 (0.3%)


Poll 329: One of the following groups will be made extinct tomorrow. It's your choice:

Total votes: 2804

Domestic pets of all types: 672 (24.0%)
Humans: 668 (23.8%)
Non-human primates: 595 (21.2%)
Reptiles and amphibians: 269 (9.6%)
Wild carnivorous land mammals: 184 (6.6%)  
Marine mammals: 147 (5.2%)
Fish: 113 (4.0%)
Hoofed mammals: 95 (3.4%)
Birds: 61 (2.2%)


Poll 330: Have you ever made a New Year's resolution?

Total votes: 2968

Only half-heartedly or as a joke: 880 (29.6%)
I've resolved not to: 575 (19.4%)
Sometimes, but they don't stick: 521 (17.6%)
No, never: 437 (14.7%)
Sometimes, they've been useful: 244 (8.2%)
Regularly, but I break most of them: 172 (5.8%)  
Yes, the same ones every year!: 87 (2.9%)
Regularly, I find them effective: 52 (1.8%)


Poll 331: Bananas are best to eat when the skin is:

Total votes: 3375

Green: 18 (0.5%)
Green with a bit of yellow: 36 (1.1%)
Half green, half yellow: 67 (2.0%)
Yellow with a tinge of green: 604 (17.9%)
Uniform yellow, no green or brown: 876 (26.0%)
Yellow with just a few tiny brown spots: 964 (28.6%)  
Yellow with moderate brown spots: 292 (8.7%)
Half yellow, half brown: 30 (0.9%)
Mostly brown: 10 (0.3%)
Completely brown: 21 (0.6%)
Bananas are never good to eat: 457 (13.5%)


Poll 332: Which of these spells would you most like to learn?

Total votes: 3315

Wall of Personal Space: 1004 (30.3%)
Ray of Niceness: 902 (27.2%)
Glyph of Punctuation: 231 (7.0%)
Summon Spork: 196 (5.9%)
Detect Sarcasm: 166 (5.0%)
Aura of Smugness: 166 (5.0%)
Cure Light Hangnail: 154 (4.6%)
Minor Globe of Elevator Music: 128 (3.9%)
Transmute Yoghurt Flavour: 110 (3.3%)
Deflect Nerf: 89 (2.7%)
Power Word: Burp: 86 (2.6%)
Charm Chicken: 50 (1.5%)
Mildly Unusual Smell 15' Radius: 33 (1.0%)  


Poll 333: If today is Monday, the Friday four days from now and the Friday 11 days from now are, respectively:

Total votes: 3964

This Friday and next Friday: 1827 (46.1%)
Friday and next Friday: 836 (21.1%)
Something else because I always forget something, just don't e-mail me, okay?: 324 (8.2%)  
This Friday and a week from Friday: 260 (6.6%)
Next Friday and the Friday after next: 228 (5.8%)
Friday and a week from Friday: 166 (4.2%)
Friday and Friday week: 111 (2.8%)
This Friday and Friday week: 109 (2.7%)
Next Friday and a week from Friday: 75 (1.9%)
Next Friday and Friday week: 28 (0.7%)


Poll 334: Which of the following Blu-ray regions do you live in?

Total votes: 3085

Region 18: The Rest of Europe: 604 (19.6%)
Region 4: England, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa: 567 (18.4%)
Region 13: Tuvalu, US states starting H-M, except Hawaii: 380 (12.3%)
Region 9: Iceland, US states starting A-G: 359 (11.6%)
Region 16: The Republic of Malta, US states starting N-S: 305 (9.9%)
Region 19: Nepal, French Polynesia, US states starting T-Z: 301 (9.8%)  
Region 3: Canada, India: 206 (6.7%)
Region 15: The International Space Station, Mars, Venus: 175 (5.7%)
Region 6: Sovereign Military Order of Malta: 29 (0.9%)
Region 20: South America, above 200 metres altitude: 29 (0.9%)
Region 11: Antarctica: 26 (0.8%)
Region 12: Tibet, International Waters: 23 (0.7%)
Region 17: North Korea, Vatican City: 17 (0.6%)
Region 7: South America, below 200 metres altitude: 16 (0.5%)
Region 1: Japan: 12 (0.4%)
Region 10: The Middle East, the Galapagos Islands: 12 (0.4%)
Region 2: China: 9 (0.3%)
Region 5: Russia, Africa: 6 (0.2%)
Region 8: Taiwan, any country ending in -stan: 6 (0.2%)
Region 14: South Korea, Burkina Faso: 3 (0.1%)


Poll 335: Will this be the most overwhelming poll victory ever?

Total votes: 4032

The Allosaurus: 3053 (75.7%)
I'd rather eat ground glass: 341 (8.5%)
Episodes I-III were far superior to IV-VI: 242 (6.0%)
Sure, you can have my first-born: 206 (5.1%)
Actually, I'm glad Blu-ray is region coded: 190 (4.7%)  

I guess not.

Several readers pointed out to me that eating ground glass is not actually very dangerous. Not that I'd want to try it.


Poll 336: Star Trek by J. J. Abrams:

Total votes: 3848

What?: 929 (24.1%)
I'll be interested to see it: 902 (23.4%)
Meh: 849 (22.1%)
What? Wait... what?!!: 738 (19.2%)
Enterprise isn't built on Earth!!!: 276 (7.2%)  
Omygosh!I'msoexited!Ican'twait!: 154 (4.0%)


Poll 337: When is it too cold to eat ice cream?

Total votes: 3730

Below 30°C (86°F): 24 (0.6%)
Below 25°C (77°F): 26 (0.7%)
Below 20°C (68°F): 104 (2.8%)
Below 15°C (59°F): 240 (6.4%)
Below 10°C (50°F): 251 (6.7%)
Below 5°C (41°F): 195 (5.2%)
Below 0°C (32°F): 246 (6.6%)
Below -5°C (23°F): 126 (3.4%)
Below -10°C (14°F): 126 (3.4%)  
Below -15°C (5°F): 62 (1.7%)
Below -20°C (-4°F): 89 (2.4%)
Below -25°C (-13°F): 27 (0.7%)
Below -30°C (-22°F): 26 (0.7%)
Below -35°C (-31°F): 10 (0.3%)
Below -40°C (-40°F): 72 (1.9%)
Never!: 2036 (54.6%)
Always!: 70 (1.9%)


Poll 338: You must dye your hair. Which of these colours do you choose?

Total votes: 3332

Metallic silver: 995 (29.9%)
Black and white stripes: 485 (14.6%)  
Fire engine red: 423 (12.7%)
Sky blue: 396 (11.9%)
Purple: 386 (11.6%)
Turquoise: 196 (5.9%)
Lime green: 184 (5.5%)
Orange: 146 (4.4%)
Pink: 61 (1.8%)
Mauve: 60 (1.8%)


Poll 339: Has the fact that many computer languages index arrays starting with 0 instead of 1 ever caused you problems?

Total votes: 3672

I don't even understand what you're talking about: 744 (20.3%)
I don't program, and no, not that I know of: 741 (20.2%)
Never; it's perfectly natural for the first item to be labelled 0: 578 (15.7%)  
Only when I first learnt to program; I'm used to it now: 532 (14.5%)
Only when I have to interface 0-indexed and 1-indexed languages: 481 (13.1%)
It still occasionally causes silly errors in my code: 331 (9.0%)
Oh gadzooks yes! Why? Why? WHY?!?!: 158 (4.3%)
I don't program, but this has affected me in someone else's code: 107 (2.9%)


Poll 340: How many of this poll's responses will be different to your answer?

Total votes: 3252

None at all: 212 (6.5%)   93.5% different: incorrect
More than 0% to 20%: 343 (10.5%)     89.5% different: incorrect
20% to 35%: 257 (7.9%)   92.1% different: incorrect
35% to 50%: 344 (10.6%)   89.4% different: incorrect
50% to 60%: 368 (11.3%)   88.7% different: incorrect
60% to 70%: 238 (7.3%)   92.7% different: incorrect
70% to 80%: 316 (9.7%)   90.3% different: incorrect
80% to 85%: 273 (8.4%)   91.6% different: incorrect
85% to 90%: 228 (7.0%)   93.0% different: incorrect
90% to 95%: 228 (7.0%)   93.0% different: correct!
95% to less than 100%: 128 (3.9%)   96.1% different: correct!
All of them: 317 (9.7%)   90.3% different: incorrect


Poll 341: Which of these South American places would you most like to visit?

Total votes: 2861

Machu Picchu, Peru: 763 (26.7%)
Galapagos Islands, Ecuador: 539 (18.8%)
Easter Island, Chile: 465 (16.3%)
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: 318 (11.1%)
Angel Falls, Venezuela: 309 (10.8%)
Nazca Lines, Peru: 107 (3.7%)
Lake Titicaca, Bolivia/Peru: 106 (3.7%)
Iguazu Falls, Argentina/Brazil: 81 (2.8%)  
The Pampas, Argentina: 53 (1.9%)
Quito, Ecuador: 35 (1.2%)
Cerro Aconcagua, Argentina: 29 (1.0%)
Tiahuanaco, Bolivia: 24 (0.8%)
Cartagena, Colombia: 17 (0.6%)
Mount Roraima, Venezuela: 15 (0.5%)


Poll 342: If you had to know in advance exactly when you will die, how far ahead would you like to know?

Total votes: 3431

10 seconds: 510 (14.9%)  
A minute: 72 (2.1%)
10 minutes: 67 (2.0%)
An hour: 108 (3.1%)
10 hours: 34 (1.0%)
One day: 205 (6.0%)
One week: 292 (8.5%)
One month: 235 (6.8%)
Six months: 246 (7.2%)
A year: 394 (11.5%)
Five years: 181 (5.3%)
10 years: 1087 (31.7%)


Poll 343: Do you ever select <choose> in protest of the available answer choices?

Total votes: 3102

The Allosaurus: 1262 (40.7%)
<choose> (the option): 936 (30.2%)
<choose> (the default non-option): 731 (23.6%)  
No, I treat the polls seriously: 448 (14.4%)
No, that never even occurred to me: 307 (9.9%)
No, I hack in my own answer: 98 (3.2%)
No, I bother the author with an e-mail: 51 (1.6%)


Poll 344: You can save one of these people from an untimely death:

Total votes: 3472

Martin Luther King Jr.: 696 (20.0%)
Archduke Franz Ferdinand: 548 (15.8%)  
John Lennon: 358 (10.3%)
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: 353 (10.2%)
John F. Kennedy: 336 (9.7%)
Anne Frank: 320 (9.2%)
Alexander the Great: 261 (7.5%)
Evariste Galois: 159 (4.6%)
Diana, Princess of Wales: 129 (3.7%)
Buddy Holly: 118 (3.4%)
Marilyn Monroe: 78 (2.2%)
Samantha Smith: 68 (2.0%)
Vincent van Gogh: 48 (1.4%)


Poll 345: Which of these is most important for someone to have a working knowledge of in the modern world?

Total votes: 3361

Computer operation : 753 (22.4%)
Manners and civility: 663 (19.7%)
Basic scientific method and science results: 432 (12.9%)  
Arithmetic: 355 (10.6%)
Finance and budgeting skills: 337 (10.0%)
How to drive: 174 (5.2%)
How to cook: 142 (4.2%)
Overview of world history: 113 (3.4%)
Global human culture and geography: 104 (3.1%)
Popular culture: 90 (2.7%)
Religion and spirituality: 75 (2.2%)
First aid: 62 (1.8%)
World events and politics: 61 (1.8%)


Poll 346: Okay, here's the plan: I was talking at work about how one thing I've never managed to do is learn a musical instrument. Some of the guys at work play various instruments, at differing modicums of ability. I tried to think of something with a gentle learning curve. I mentioned drums. [One of the guys said, "Wait, I thought you said you wanted to learn a musical instrument. Why did you mention drums?" So the joke's been done already, okay?] Other guy said, cool, he had a guitar, bass, and keyboard - all he needed was some drums and we could make a band. He suggested I buy some cheap drums, we keep the whole lot at work and practise, say, one night a week after work. And to make it fair on me, everyone would have to pick an instrument they didn't yet know how to play. He'd take keyboard since he'd never learnt to play it, and the piano-player could take guitar, and so on. So we'd all be starting from scratch. And we'd make a serious effort and practise regularly, and learn a couple of songs. And play at his wedding in October. (Just a song or two, not the whole night. We may be crazy but we're not stupid.) So. This is:

Total votes: 4962

Actually a pretty darn good idea: 1544 (31.1%)
A moderately good idea: 908 (18.3%)
A half-decent idea: 706 (14.2%)
A scathingly brilliant idea: 664 (13.4%)
An astoundingly painfully stupid idea: 595 (12.0%)  
A somewhat bad idea: 360 (7.3%)
A really bad idea: 185 (3.7%)

I suppose you want to know if we're going to do it. I'd really like to do it. The only real question is how much spare time we have. Unfortunately, the answer is "nowhere near enough".


Poll 347: Have you ever worn a school uniform?

Total votes: 3401

No, never: 2069 (60.8%)
Yes, for some of my school years: 622 (18.3%)
Yes, the whole time I was at school: 454 (13.3%)  
Only as a fancy dress costume: 84 (2.5%)
Yep, still do, every schoolday: 73 (2.1%)
Only on special school occasions: 50 (1.5%)
Actually, I'm wearing one now: 49 (1.4%)


Poll 348: What's the best colour for food to be?

Total votes: 3352

Brown: 960 (28.6%)  
Red: 717 (21.4%)
Green: 493 (14.7%)
Yellow: 269 (8.0%)
Orange: 244 (7.3%)
White: 180 (5.4%)
Blue: 162 (4.8%)
Pink: 139 (4.1%)
Purple: 107 (3.2%)
Black: 49 (1.5%)
Grey: 32 (1.0%)


Poll 349: Which is least annoying?

Total votes: 3721

Seeing a dentist: 1060 (28.5%)
People putting finger smudges on your monitor: 621 (16.7%)
Food stuck between your teeth: 423 (11.4%)
Really really hot, humid weather: 275 (7.4%)
Stubbing your toe: 274 (7.4%)
Panhandlers: 272 (7.3%)
Telemarketers: 165 (4.4%)
Rude waiters: 156 (4.2%)
Sunburn: 154 (4.1%)
A TV show you really like being cancelled: 152 (4.1%)
Appliances breaking right after warranty expires: 107 (2.9%)  
Finding a worm in the fruit you're eating: 62 (1.7%)


Poll 350: Best musical styles?

Total votes: 2924

Baroque and Heavy Metal: 999 (34.2%)
Rock 'n' Roll and Bubblegum Pop: 662 (22.6%)
Broadway Showtunes and Electronica: 342 (11.7%)  
Chamber Music and Punk: 295 (10.1%)
Jazz and Christian Rock: 181 (6.2%)
Opera and Disco: 129 (4.4%)
Country and Ambient New Age: 107 (3.7%)
Choral and Reggae: 87 (3.0%)
Folk and Elevator Muzak: 73 (2.5%)
Easy Listening and Gangsta Rap: 37 (1.3%)
Gospel and Atonal: 12 (0.4%)


Irregular Webcomic! | Darths & Droids | Eavesdropper | Planet of Hats | The Prisoner of Monty Hall
mezzacotta | Lightning Made of Owls | Square Root of Minus Garfield | The Dinosaur Whiteboard | iToons | Comments on a Postcard | Awkward Fumbles
© 2002-2017 Creative Commons License
This work is copyright and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar. dmm@irregularwebcomic.net