1 {scene: the bridge of His Majesty's Ship Anatotitan}
1 Wendy: The Royal Navy workin' wi' pirates. Who'd ever be thinkin' it?
2 Ponsonby: Who'd ever have thought the Governor's daughter would be a pirate?
3 Wendy: I be runnin' away for the romance, expectin' pirates to be dashing, brave, 'n' handsome.
4 Wendy: But all I be gettin' was these...
4 Long Tom: Arrrr!
4 Dirque: Arrrr!

Pirates. Dashing adventurers romantically sailing the high seas, or scruffy, smelly ruffians?

You decide.

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2020-04-04 Rerun commentary: It might be cool to go back to the golden age of piracy, with modern grooming accoutrements, so that you could captain a pirate ship while being clean shaven, with a fresh and spicy aftershave, a rugged and effective underarm antiperspirant/deodorant, minty fresh teeth, and clean underwear.

I guess your pirate nickname might be Nobeard.