1 Alvissa: Why do you carry an orb and a telescope instead of a wizard's staff?
2 Kyros: Most wizards with a staff succumb to the temptation to add more and more gold ornamentation to it over time.
3 Kyros: Until eventually the staff becomes too ornate and heavy to use properly.
4 Alvissa: So...
4 Kyros: Yes. They're prone to staff aureus infection.

Staphylococcus aureus, also known as Staph. aureus, is a common bacterium that can be found in many places, including on the skin of many people.

However, if it gets inside your skin, it can cause a wide range of different types of infections, from minor such as pimples, to serious and life-threatening.

I should know, I was hospitalised in 2001 with a Staph. aureus infection in the sinuses. It caused major blood clotting throughout various nearby veins. It ate away the nerves controlling my eye muscles - thankfully it didn't damage the optic nerves that carry visual signals to the brain. Doctors feared it might get into my brain.

I was on a cocktail of 20 different intravenous antibiotics, plus the blood-thinning agent heparin, plus regular injections of morphine, for about a week. This regime was slowly relaxed as I got better, but I didn't leave hospital for nearly four weeks.

I've mentioned this illness in passing before. It was actually part of what inspired me to start Irregular Webcomic! In the many months I had to have off work in order to allow my eyes to recover, I got a bit bored and started making comics to pass the time. If you'd like to read more about this experience, and you are not squeamish about hospital procedures, I wrote it all up in a diary.

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2024-07-28 Rerun commentary: Thankfully since that infection I had back in 2001, it hasn't seemed to have caused any subsequent complications or issues for me. I always mention it as significant medical history when seeing a doctor, but they've never indicated that it could be related to any later issues.