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1 Adam: {in background} This crappit heid is... interesting.
2 Scotsman 1: {to bartender} Ye gave them the joke tourist menu, I see.
2 Bartender: Aye. What can I get ye gents?
3 Scotsman 1: Cullen skink and collops!
3 Scotsman 2: Finnan haddie and clapshot!
3 Scotsman 3: Forfar bridie and clootie dumplings!
4 Scotsman 4: Rumbledethumps and festy cock!
4 Bartender: Guid tae see we Scotsmen like normal fuid.
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To save you some time:
Honestly, most of those sound all right to me. Though probably not something I'd want very often.
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