1 Receptionist: THIS IS DEATH; HOW CAN I ASSIST YOU?
2 Receptionist: NO, THIS ISN’T THE RIGHT NUMBER. WE COLLECT SOULS.
3 Receptionist: TRY THE CATHOLIC CHURCH.
3 Receptionist: YOU’RE WELCOME. BYE.
4 Receptionist: {hanging up} How do they even get this number?

With COVID-19 raging, my wife has been working from home for some time. Unfortunately our place is not large, and she had to set up on the dining table, which is not far from my desk and computer. So for much of the working day we're in relatively close proximity.

Part of her job involves answering phone calls from the public, so I have been overhearing a lot of odd things. Many of the strangest ones involve people who really should be calling some other place. Particularly ones that go like this (slightly paraphrased):

"Hello."

"You want to take legal action against your doctor? I'm sorry, we provide legal advice to doctors. You should try contacting the New South Wales Department of Health."