Poll Results

All Previous Polls: 101-150

Total votes: 1415

von Schinkelgutenbergenmeier: 374 (26.4%)
Rommel. No, not that Rommel: 250 (17.7%)
Schrödinger: 218 (15.4%)
Zunettumeinfaschistzusein: 156 (11.0%)
Weiß: 99 (7.0%)
Schultz: 94 (6.6%)
Schmidt: 87 (6.1%)
Braun: 55 (3.9%)
Schwartz: 50 (3.5%)
Gebauer: 32 (2.3%)

Half a dozen or so people suggested "Steve". But I would have thought more would go for Zunettumeinfaschistzusein, which means "too nice to be a fascist".

Total votes: 1765

I enjoy examining cleavage: 569 (32.2%)
It rocks!: 253 (14.3%)
It has its faults: 240 (13.6%)
I take it for granite: 230 (13.0%)
It's gneiss: 134 (7.6%)
Quite sedimental: 106 (6.0%)
That's a tuff question: 80 (4.5%)
I'm disynclined to offer an opinion: 79 (4.5%)
I lava it!: 48 (2.7%)
It gives me the schist: 26 (1.5%)

Total votes: 1577

Uh-huh. Like this is really going to work: 684 (43.4%)
Mmmm... naked chicks...: 319 (20.2%)
I bet you don't guess this!: 172 (10.9%)
Heh. Now that's a clever poll idea: 148 (9.4%)
Ha! Lucky I'm wearing my tinfoil hat!: 99 (6.3%)
Oooh, that's cool! I wonder how he does it: 90 (5.7%)
I hope the boss doesn't catch me goofing off at work: 36 (2.3%)
You killed Paris! You bastard!: 23 (1.5%)
Oh god, please don't let him pick up the thoughts about the whipped cream, that would be bad...: 6 (0.4%)

Note: The only actual answer offered as on option in the poll form was "Okay! I'm thinking now!" All the answers above were picked up by my astounding mind-reading abilities.

Total votes: 1877

3.1415: 1125 (59.9%)
3.1416: 369 (19.7%)
index, middle, ring, pinky, thumb: 181 (9.6%)
πππππ: 57 (3.0%)
11.001: 48 (2.6%)
π: 39 (2.1%)
3.0000: 35 (1.9%)
3.243F: 23 (1.2%)

Total votes: 1524

Hot/warm shower on a cold day: 534 (35.0%)
Swimming in cool water on a hot day: 280 (18.4%)
Hot/warm bath on a cold day: 248 (16.3%)
Cold/cool shower on a hot day: 198 (13.0%)
Swimming in a heated pool on a cold day: 186 (12.2%)
Swimming in icy water on a cold day: 62 (4.1%)
Cold/cool bath on a hot day: 16 (1.0%)

Several people wrote in with two other answers:

• Hot shower on a hot day.
• A hot sauna, followed by running outside and rolling around naked in snow.

Total votes: 1910

Dungeons & Dragons is satanic: 549 (28.7%)
You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd: 369 (19.3%)
Suicide is painless: 251 (13.1%)
Revenge is a dish best served cold: 203 (10.6%)
The customer is always right: 144 (7.5%)
All's fair in love and war: 100 (5.2%)
There are aliens among us: 88 (4.6%)
Beauty is only skin deep: 86 (4.5%)
A watched pot never boils: 67 (3.5%)
No pain, no gain: 53 (2.8%)

Total votes: 1758

I refuse to play your little game: 788 (44.8%)
I have no idea, I'm picking at random: 310 (17.6%)
Well any smart person will pick this one, so duh: 220 (12.5%)
But how many smart people will answer...?: 214 (12.2%)
This one!: 92 (5.2%)
No, this one!: 74 (4.2%)
Hmmm, that's a really tough question: 60 (3.4%)

Okay, so all you who refused to play my little game, in fact won, which means you lost because you did play the game! And everyone else lost too, because you didn't pick the right answer! I think I need some smarter readers... ;-)

Total votes: 2018

Banana muffin: 716 (35.5%)
I refuse to play your little game. Again!: 395 (19.6%)
I have no idea, I'm picking at random: 367 (18.2%)
Any smart person will pick this one, so I won't!: 180 (8.9%)
This one!: 150 (7.4%)
Any smart person won't pick this one, so I will!: 111 (5.5%)
No, this one!: 99 (4.9%)

Total votes: 1647

That's okay, I don't have an answer: 583 (35.4%)
A-HA! I win!!!: 358 (21.7%)
A questioning mind is the sign of a healthy intellect: 211 (12.8%)
Slacker!: 209 (12.7%)
Well then, I won't pick anything: 136 (8.3%)
What?! I demand a poll question!: 79 (4.8%)
Good, I'm sick of answering all your questions: 71 (4.3%)

Total votes: 1772

1980s: 636 (35.9%)
1960s: 323 (18.2%)
1970s: 251 (14.2%)
1990s: 205 (11.6%)
1920s: 114 (6.4%)
2000s: 78 (4.4%)
1950s: 58 (3.3%)
1940s: 56 (3.2%)
1930s: 51 (2.9%)

Total votes: 1824

KHAAAAAAAANNN!!!!: 612 (33.6%)
So that's what that button does...: 454 (24.9%)
So this is it, we're all going to die.: 356 (19.5%)
This too shall pass.: 263 (14.4%)
All good things come to an end.: 61 (3.3%)
If we pull together, we'll get through this.: 56 (3.1%)
Every cloud has a silver lining.: 22 (1.2%)

Total votes: 1594

Guten Tag: 311 (19.5%)
Hola: 166 (10.4%)
Bonjour: 127 (8.0%)
Zdravstvuitye: 123 (7.7%)
Hei: 112 (7.0%)
Aloha: 105 (6.6%)
Goddag: 79 (5.0%)
Hajime mashite: 71 (4.5%)
Halló: 71 (4.5%)
Shalom: 67 (4.2%)
Namaste: 46 (2.9%)
Nei ho ma: 43 (2.7%)
Olá: 40 (2.5%)
Sawat-dii khrap: 29 (1.8%)
Buongiorno: 29 (1.8%)
Is salaam alaykum: 26 (1.6%)
Salaam: 24 (1.5%)
Xin chào: 20 (1.3%)
Assalamu aleykum: 20 (1.3%)
Aahyubohwahn: 16 (1.0%)
Rimaykullayki: 12 (0.8%)
Tere: 12 (0.8%)
Merhaba: 11 (0.7%)
Kumusta ho: 9 (0.6%)
Gude: 9 (0.6%)
Bula: 6 (0.4%)
Sveiks: 6 (0.4%)
Labas: 3 (0.2%)
Yia sou: 3 (0.2%)
Sain bainuu: 2 (0.1%)
Salama: 1 (0.1%)
Seulam: 1 (0.1%)

Total votes: 1612

Greys (the aliens): 285 (17.7%)
Sea serpents: 236 (14.6%)
Ghosts: 198 (12.3%)
Demons: 158 (9.8%)
Lake monsters generally: 136 (8.4%)
Bigfoot/Sasquatch: 119 (7.4%)
Chupacabra: 113 (7.0%)
Yeti: 112 (6.9%)
Loch Ness monster: 67 (4.2%)
Fairies: 61 (3.8%)
Vampires: 52 (3.2%)
Jersey Devil: 34 (2.1%)
Reptoids: 26 (1.6%)
Werewolves: 15 (0.9%)

Maybe I didn't make it clear enough that I meant the stereotypical UFO-flying, cattle-mutilating, people-abducting aliens, and not just some sort of extraterrestrial life.

Or maybe I did...

Total votes: 1942

Pirates-Nigerian Finance Minister: 449 (23.1%)
Fantasy-Space: 397 (20.4%)
Shakespeare-Mythbusters: 368 (18.9%)
Death-Imperial Rome: 298 (15.3%)
Steve-Cliffhangers: 222 (11.4%)
Martians-Pirates: 208 (10.7%)

Total votes: 1700

Periwinkle: 354 (20.8%)
Puce: 325 (19.1%)
Ecru: 267 (15.7%)
Goldenrod: 180 (10.6%)
Chartreuse: 168 (9.9%)
Taupe: 148 (8.7%)
Cerise: 72 (4.2%)
Khaki: 68 (4.0%)
Fuschia: 64 (3.8%)
Cyan: 23 (1.4%)
Beige: 21 (1.2%)
Teal: 10 (0.6%)

Total votes: 2014

Chocolate: 441 (21.9%)
Bread: 379 (18.8%)
Epinephrine/Adrenaline: 247 (12.3%)
Jelly: 200 (9.9%)
Jam: 164 (8.1%)
Banana: 114 (5.7%)
Honey: 102 (5.1%)
Brandy and a cigar: 73 (3.6%)
Chili and meat: 71 (3.5%)
Ice cream: 66 (3.3%)
Cheese: 57 (2.8%)
A nice dry burgundy: 34 (1.7%)
A fruity white riesling: 34 (1.7%)
Port: 32 (1.6%)

People are quite passionate about their peanut butter. I received four write-in votes for marshmallows or marshmallow cream. A couple of people wanted "a spoon" to eat it straight from the jar. Two wanted a bin to toss it in. And someone apparently likes to dip celery sticks in peanut butter.

And it seems that a lot of respondents are allergic to peanuts, since that's what epinephrine is used to treat.

And I'm surprised how low chili and meat ranked (below brandy and a cigar!). It seems many of you are not too keen on satay.

Total votes: 1463

Möbius strip: 536 (36.6%)
Strip tease: 346 (23.7%)
Comic strip: 254 (17.4%)
Strip poker: 150 (10.3%)
Strip loin steak: 67 (4.6%)
Airstrip: 46 (3.1%)
Strip mining: 22 (1.5%)
The Strip: 20 (1.4%)
Strip search: 18 (1.2%)
Strip light: 2 (0.1%)
Strip mall: 2 (0.1%)

Total votes: 1187

No: 1187 (100.0%)
<choose>: 159 (13.4%)
Yes: 67 (5.6%)
Maybe: 8 (0.7%)
Of course: 6 (0.5%)
Sometimes: 3 (0.3%)

Yes, the percentages add up to over 100% - that's because my vote-counting script only counts legitimate votes and I couldn't be bothered renormalising the totals for the additional hacked-in answers. You still get the idea of the proportions.

Naturally, there were a lot of hacked answers. A few of them were indignant about my usage of the word "hack" and insisted that I should have used "crack" instead. I've compiled the most popular hacks into the table above, but naturally many were one-offs, far too numerous to list in full. Some of the more amusing:

• I guess that depends on what you mean by hack, and whether any hacked answers are rejected
• I am trying to find out
• It's some kind of provocation, isn't it?
• Of course not! That would be wrong.
• Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs
• I will know if I see this in the results I guess
• Yes, with an well-insulated axe
• <script>alert("yes");</script>
• My trusty Emacs never fails. Plus, your HTML is ugly.
• Absolutely Not! What do you think I am? Some kind of criminal?
• h4xx0r3d
• Of course not! That would be illegal, immoral, and fattening!
• steam powered weasels of doom
• I can't believe anyone would even try, it's a shock to me...

Total votes: 2196

Oh damn, I'm an hour late for work!: 496 (22.6%)
I hate it!: 408 (18.6%)
I don't care one way or the other: 397 (18.1%)
Is a communist plot: 357 (16.3%)
I love it!: 210 (9.6%)
Should be used all year: 139 (6.3%)
I live near the arctic, we need double: 87 (4.0%)
Fades the furniture!: 50 (2.3%)
I wish we had it where I live: 27 (1.2%)
I live in the tropics, so it's not needed: 25 (1.1%)

A couple of people wrote to say it's actually "daylight saving time", not "daylight savings time". To be honest, I've never heard anyone say the former. I guess everyone I know gets it wrong.

Total votes: 1722

Reykjavík: 406 (23.6%)
Ulaanbaatar: 312 (18.1%)
Nuku'alofa: 198 (11.5%)
Bujumbura: 162 (9.4%)
Antananarivo: 128 (7.4%)
Dushanbe: 110 (6.4%)
Ljubljana: 103 (6.0%)
Managua: 82 (4.8%)
Fongafale: 79 (4.6%)
Paramaribo: 78 (4.5%)
Tegucigalpa: 64 (3.7%)

Total votes: 2377

A: 995 (41.9%)
B: 848 (35.7%)
C: 534 (22.5%)

Almost, but no cigar. Martin Gardner once ran a series on contests such as this in Scientific American. In the examples he gave, it was possible to reason that if everyone voted reasonably, then you could maximise the chances of winning by assigning probabilities to the various options, and randomising your vote according to the assigned probabilities.

As a fairly simple example, imagine if there were two choices, A and B, and the voters win if A gets more votes than B, but less than three times as many. Clearly a lot of people need to vote for A, but you can't just blithely vote for A, because if everyone does that, B won't get any votes and you will lose. So instead, you roll a (standard six-sided) die. If it comes up 1-4, you vote A, on a 5 or 6 you vote B. If everyone is rational, and comes to the same conclusion, A will almost certainly get close to twice as many votes as B, and the voters will win.

Unfortunately for anyone who is familiar with this sort of thing, I deliberately set up this contest so that there was no way to decide objectively between voting for B or C. You want either B or C to get more votes than A, and the other to get fewer votes than A. You could assign a high probability to B, medium to A, and low to C - which would work if everyone did the same thing. But assigning high to C and low to A would also work, if everyone did the same thing... and those two options are mutually incompatible.

The only thing you really have to go on is the psychological difference between B and C inherent in the labels and the alphabetic ordering. So now you start to get away from logic and into the realms of the human psyche. This is a game that Spock cannot win, but that Kirk just might. McCoy would just give up and pick something at random.

So my next question is, are most readers Spocks or McCoys?

Poll 122: How do you wash your hair?

Total votes: 1846

Facing away from the shower nozzle: 786 (42.6%)
Facing towards the shower nozzle: 420 (22.8%)
Rotating under the shower nozzle: 229 (12.4%)
Wash my what?: 117 (6.3%)
Do what to my hair?: 114 (6.2%)
In the bathtub: 86 (4.7%)
Side on to the shower nozzle: 62 (3.4%)
In the sink: 20 (1.1%)
In a natural body of water: 11 (0.6%)
At the hairdresser: 1 (0.1%)

Total votes: 1423

No, I refuse to!: 804 (56.5%)
Okay: 284 (20.0%)
<choose>: 205 (14.4%)
I really abstain: 202 (14.2%)
I abstain: 133 (9.3%)

A good portion of you chose <choose> instead of actually voting. And judging by the total number of votes recorded, it seems a few hundred regular poll voters actually didn't vote at all.

Total votes: 1729

Meat: 496 (28.7%)
Caffeine: 366 (21.2%)
Sugar: 220 (12.7%)
Grains and cereals: 179 (10.4%)
Fruit: 163 (9.4%)
Dairy: 136 (7.9%)
Vegetables: 61 (3.5%)
Fat: 56 (3.2%)
Salt: 52 (3.0%)

Total votes: 2069

No Internet: 786 (38.0%)
Environmental catastrophe: 206 (10.0%)
Creepy, crawly things: 198 (9.6%)
Heights: 168 (8.1%)
Driving in New York City: 145 (7.0%)
Public speaking: 145 (7.0%)
Dental appointments: 140 (6.8%)
Death: 128 (6.2%)
Running out of marshmallows: 102 (4.9%)
Terrorism: 51 (2.5%)

Interesting. Yet another scientific survey determines that more people are afraid of public speaking than of death.

Also, it seems that governments should not be spending our taxes waging war on terrorism. Exactly twice as many people think that money would be better spent waging war on lack of marshmallows.

Total votes: 1979

A long time ago...: 441 (22.3%)
2750: 258 (13.0%)
3000: 228 (11.5%)
2300: 221 (11.2%)
2500: 202 (10.2%)
2200: 167 (8.4%)
5000: 161 (8.1%)
40,000: 94 (4.7%)
2100: 74 (3.7%)
10,000: 63 (3.2%)
2050: 36 (1.8%)
20,000: 34 (1.7%)

Actually, if you check the log of my campaign on which the theme is based, you'll find that I had set it in the year 2775. Which was a fact I hadn't remembered when I wrote the poll question.

Total votes: 1863

Time Cube: 399 (21.4%)
Ancient alien visitations: 254 (13.6%)
Moon landings were hoaxed: 242 (13.0%)
Paul McCartney died in 1966: 238 (12.8%)
Velikovskyism: 234 (12.6%)
Ghosts of the dead: 164 (8.8%)
Extra-sensory perception: 135 (7.2%)
Atlantis: 130 (7.0%)
Elvis is alive: 67 (3.6%)

Total votes: 1394

Resistance is futile. I see no way to avoid submission.: 466 (33.4%)
Okey dokey.: 374 (26.8%)
<choose>: 307 (22.0%)
Yes, Master.: 226 (16.2%)
I submit.: 129 (9.3%)
Your wish is my command.: 90 (6.5%)
Sure! Anything to please you.: 59 (4.2%)
Most gladly.: 50 (3.6%)
[No, Never, or variants thereof]: 36 (2.6%)

Well, a bunch of you elected to submit the "<choose>" marker. While a few submitted hacked answers based on some variant of refusal. But of course all of you still hit the "Submit" button... thus submitting by default. Only those of you who didn't answer the poll were successful at resisting my command.

Total votes: 2102

Cashew: 402 (19.1%)
Peanut: 317 (15.1%)
Pistachio: 253 (12.0%)
Macadamia: 186 (8.8%)
Almond: 154 (7.3%)
No, yuk!: 153 (7.3%)
Hazelnut: 144 (6.9%)
Coconut: 120 (5.7%)
Walnut: 98 (4.7%)
Pecan: 94 (4.5%)
Brazil nut: 69 (3.3%)
No, allergic: 69 (3.3%)
Chestnut: 43 (2.0%)

Total votes: 1989

Oooh, can I have the naughty list?: 608 (30.6%)
Erm... nice, mostly...: 391 (19.7%)
Yeah yeah, where's my loot?: 277 (13.9%)
Who's asking?: 271 (13.6%)
Oh my goodness, nice!: 147 (7.4%)
Naughty! Very naughty!: 142 (7.1%)
A little bit naughty: 86 (4.3%)
Naughty, but truly sorry: 67 (3.4%)

Total votes: 1769

one twenty-seven dot zero dot zero dot one: 307 (17.4%)
one two seven dot zero dot zero dot one: 249 (14.1%)
one twenty-seven, zero, zero, one: 203 (11.5%)
one twenty-seven point zero point zero point one: 184 (10.4%)
one two seven point zero point zero point one: 141 (8.0%)
one two seven, zero, zero, one: 116 (6.6%)
one twenty-seven, oh, oh, one: 88 (5.0%)
one twenty-seven dot oh dot oh dot one: 84 (4.7%)
one twenty-seven point oh point oh point one: 82 (4.6%)
one two seven, oh, oh, one: 79 (4.5%)
one two seven dot oh dot oh dot one: 72 (4.1%)
one two seven point oh point oh point one: 45 (2.5%)
one two seven dot nought dot nought dot one: 31 (1.8%)
one twenty-seven dot nought dot nought dot one: 17 (1.0%)
one two seven point nought point nought point one: 14 (0.8%)
one twenty-seven, nought, nought, one: 14 (0.8%)
one two seven, nought, nought, one: 13 (0.7%)
one two seven period zero period zero period one: 10 (0.6%)
one twenty-seven point nought point nought point one: 8 (0.5%)
one twenty-seven period zero period zero period one: 8 (0.5%)
one two seven period oh period oh period one: 7 (0.4%)
one two seven period nought period nought period one: 5 (0.3%)
one twenty-seven period oh period oh period one: 4 (0.2%)
one twenty-seven period nought period nought period one: 3 (0.2%)

A lot of people wanted to answer "localhost", which was an answer I didn't want to hear. I was trying to find out how people say the numbers. I should have picked a more random series of numbers. Oh well, live and learn.

Total votes: 1663

Red: 581 (34.9%)
Orange: 336 (20.2%)
Green: 188 (11.3%)
Yellow: 177 (10.6%)
Purple: 174 (10.5%)
Blue: 102 (6.1%)
Black: 50 (3.0%)
White: 39 (2.3%)
Brown: 16 (1.0%)

Whoever hacked in "Please tell me if this works!": No, it didn't.

Total votes: 2188

Lust: 1001 (45.7%)
Sloth: 471 (21.5%)
Gluttony: 232 (10.6%)
Wrath: 192 (8.8%)
Pride: 166 (7.6%)
Greed: 91 (4.2%)
Envy: 35 (1.6%)

Total votes: 1868

Quiet night in: 510 (27.3%)
Small gathering of friends: 442 (23.7%)
Partying with friends: 347 (18.6%)
Small gathering of relatives: 196 (10.5%)
Go to bed early: 148 (7.9%)
Out in the wilderness: 79 (4.2%)
Partying en masse in public: 76 (4.1%)
Partying with relatives: 70 (3.7%)

Several people wrote to say they'd unfortunately be working through the festivities - at least a dozen or so. I'm sorry I didn't even think of that as an option...

Total votes: 1688

I'm curious, but not enough to risk it.: 422 (25.0%)
No way, no delicacy is worth that risk.: 422 (25.0%)
No, I don't even like seafood.: 311 (18.4%)
I might try it if it's put in front of me.: 242 (14.3%)
Yes! I want to try it!: 144 (8.5%)
No, I don't eat any meat.: 59 (3.5%)
Sure, I'll eat anything. Is it some kind of bird?: 55 (3.3%)
I have eaten it, and want to again!: 19 (1.1%)
I have eaten it, it was nothing special.: 14 (0.8%)

Total votes: 2157

Star Wars Episodes 1, 2, and 3: 1111 (51.5%)
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: 233 (10.8%)
Jason and the Argonauts: 210 (9.7%)
Monty Python and the Holy Grail: 115 (5.3%)
The Wizard of Oz: 114 (5.3%)
The Day the Earth Stood Still: 101 (4.7%)
The Sound of Music: 68 (3.2%)
Ben Hur: 66 (3.1%)
Alien: 37 (1.7%)
Casablanca: 31 (1.4%)
The Godfather: 19 (0.9%)
It's a Wonderful Life: 16 (0.7%)
Citizen Kane: 15 (0.7%)
Psycho: 11 (0.5%)
The Seven Year Itch: 10 (0.5%)

Total votes: 1724

No, I'll look when I have time.: 365 (21.2%)
The what?: 250 (14.5%)
No, discussion forums don't interest me.: 215 (12.5%)
There's a forum? Who cares?: 153 (8.9%)
Surely you mean the fora.: 150 (8.7%)
Yes, not sure if I should join in.: 149 (8.6%)
Yes, I registered!: 132 (7.7%)
Yes, I should register.: 89 (5.2%)
There's a forum?! Let me at it!: 89 (5.2%)
Yes, but it didn't interest me.: 73 (4.2%)
No, I hate forums.: 59 (3.4%)

Total votes: 1947

With a mango: 827 (42.5%)
No, my eyesight's fine: 416 (21.4%)
437: 300 (15.4%)
Sure, why not?: 274 (14.1%)
<choose>: 136 (7.0%)
No: 77 (4.0%)
Yes: 53 (2.7%)

Total votes: 2265

Captain Hand: 971 (42.9%)
James Cook: 442 (19.5%)
"Lucky" Johnson: 249 (11.0%)
Sir Percy Blakeney: 136 (6.0%)
Christopher Newport: 123 (5.4%)
Sparky Anderson: 106 (4.7%)
Christopher Marlowe: 79 (3.5%)
Horatio Nelson: 78 (3.4%)
Edward V of England: 47 (2.1%)
Lewis Carroll: 34 (1.5%)

Total votes: 2846

Anime/Manga: 529 (18.6%)
Food, Sushi: 294 (10.3%)
State of the art consumer electronics: 247 (8.7%)
Ninja: 240 (8.4%)
Giant monsters: 228 (8.0%)
Samurai: 188 (6.6%)
Mecha: 152 (5.3%)
Zen: 144 (5.1%)
Weird game shows: 143 (5.0%)
Martial arts: 133 (4.7%)
Gardens/Bonsai: 112 (3.9%)
Mythology: 82 (2.9%)
Food, Noodles: 77 (2.7%)
Language/Literature/Poetry: 73 (2.6%)
Food, Pocky, odd snack foods, etc.: 68 (2.4%)
Art/Calligraphy: 62 (2.2%)
Food, Other: 33 (1.2%)
Sumo: 27 (0.9%)
Dance/Theatre: 14 (0.5%)

Total votes: 2151

I've never travelled far enough to know: 716 (33.3%)
I'm wasted for a day, then okay: 664 (30.9%)
It's not a problem at all: 508 (23.6%)
I recover slowly but surely: 198 (9.2%)
I suffer badly for days: 65 (3.0%)

Total votes: 2242

Consumed by the red giant sun: 575 (25.6%)
With a whimper: 311 (13.9%)
The four horsemen will ride: 242 (10.8%)
Ragnarok: 236 (10.5%)
It won't: 204 (9.1%)
Nanotech disaster: 121 (5.4%)
In fire: 117 (5.2%)
Nuclear war: 91 (4.1%)
Armageddon: 86 (3.8%)
Runaway global warming: 85 (3.8%)
Blown away by aliens: 75 (3.3%)
In ice: 56 (2.5%)
With a bang: 43 (1.9%)

Total votes: 2010

Eaten fresh: 954 (47.5%)
Shunned. Pass the meat!: 261 (13.0%)
Smeared over a good friend...: 180 (9.0%)
Baked into a dessert: 151 (7.5%)
Made into ice cream: 115 (5.7%)
Juiced: 94 (4.7%)
Thrown at bad comedians: 93 (4.6%)
Made into jam: 66 (3.3%)
Dried: 26 (1.3%)
Carved creatively: 19 (0.9%)
Used to garnish a roast: 16 (0.8%)
Placed decoratively in a bowl: 15 (0.7%)
Painted as a still life: 14 (0.7%)
Preserved: 6 (0.3%)

Total votes: 1709

Meow!: 307 (18.0%)
Raaarrr!: 256 (15.0%)
Woof!: 225 (13.2%)
Baa!: 217 (12.7%)
Quack!: 131 (7.7%)
Hssss!: 113 (6.6%)
Bzzz!: 89 (5.2%)
Ribbit!: 89 (5.2%)
Oink!: 82 (4.8%)
Cockadoodledoo!: 66 (3.9%)
Neigh!: 61 (3.6%)
Squawk!: 47 (2.8%)
Cheep!: 26 (1.5%)

Total votes: 2002

Flip the switch up: 477 (23.8%)
It depends what way the other switch is: 339 (16.9%)
Fruit is best fermented: 278 (13.9%)
Light? Is that like the glow the screen emits?: 267 (13.3%)
Flip the switch down: 206 (10.3%)
There's one over at the Frankenstein place : 190 (9.5%)
Pedal faster: 55 (2.7%)
Turn the knob: 43 (2.1%)
Wait until sunrise: 28 (1.4%)
Pull the string: 24 (1.2%)
Flip the switch sideways: 20 (1.0%)
Push a button on the remote: 18 (0.9%)
Light a match and apply it to the wick: 17 (0.8%)
A motion sensor turns it on when I enter: 16 (0.8%)
Clap my hands: 8 (0.4%)
It's on all the time: 8 (0.4%)
A light sensor turns it on when it's dark: 4 (0.2%)
Set a timer to do it: 4 (0.2%)

Personally, I flip the switch down. That's how all conventional lightswitches are wired here in Australia. I was astonished to learn some years ago that in the USA they're all upside down! (Yes yes, I know, who's to say America hasn't got them right and Australia is upside down?) The basic point is that simple things like this that we take for granted and never think about can be completely different in other countries. And I was curious to see how many of you live in places where the lights go on when you flip the switch up, versus down. And then there were naturally several other options to add as well.

The "fruit is best fermented" one I actually put in as an option for poll #143, but it slipped through a time warp.

Total votes: 1323

His dramatic role: 282 (21.3%)
<choose>: 278 (21.0%)
His clever phraseology: 256 (19.3%)
His macho charisma: 215 (16.3%)
His cunning intelligence: 199 (15.0%)
His dreamy accent: 100 (7.6%)
His lithe grace: 98 (7.4%)
His elegant bearing: 67 (5.1%)
His adorable cuteness: 54 (4.1%)
His steely bravery: 52 (3.9%)

Almost, but not quite more people picked <choose> than any of the actual offered options. Although judging by the unusually low voter turnout I do note that a significant number of you seem to have abstained completely from submitting anything this time - I estimate somewhere around 500 of you.

Total votes: 1878

Why yes, yes I did: 531 (28.3%)
Right sock, left sock, right shoe, left shoe: 447 (23.8%)
Left sock, right sock, left shoe, right shoe: 405 (21.6%)
Left sock, right sock, right shoe, left shoe: 140 (7.5%)
Right sock, left sock, left shoe, right shoe: 128 (6.8%)
Shoes?: 126 (6.7%)
Right sock, right shoe, left sock, left shoe: 40 (2.1%)
Left sock, left shoe, right sock, right shoe: 34 (1.8%)
Right shoe, left shoe (no socks!): 15 (0.8%)
Left shoe, right shoe (no socks!): 12 (0.6%)

I'm surprised. I do right sock, right shoe, left sock, left shoe. I'm amazed that nearly all of you put on both socks before either shoe. I honestly hadn't expected that.

Total votes: 1927

No, that would have defied causality: 473 (24.5%)
Not yet, but I will: 373 (19.4%)
No, I'm not a smartarse: 322 (16.7%)
What? No. How could I do that?: 304 (15.8%)
No, I preferred the shoe question: 266 (13.8%)
No, but I went back and did so now: 189 (9.8%)
<choose>: 158 (8.2%)

Total votes: 2079

Windows device drivers: 772 (37.1%)
Ones who cut people off: 234 (11.3%)
Tailgaters: 231 (11.1%)
No turn signals: 194 (9.3%)
Slowcoaches: 116 (5.6%)
Constant lane changers: 104 (5.0%)
4-wheel-drive drivers: 97 (4.7%)
Impatient honkers: 96 (4.6%)
Speeders: 63 (3.0%)
Back seat drivers: 60 (2.9%)
Taxi drivers: 46 (2.2%)
Turn signals stuck on: 36 (1.7%)
Illegal parkers: 30 (1.4%)

Total votes: 2639

B: 2139 (81.1%)
A: 500 (18.9%)

No cigar, I'm afraid.

I really need to stop framing questions that encourage ballot stuffing. In case you tried it, by the way, only your first vote was actually counted. I do that all the time. So it was probably the ballot-stuffers who tried voting for A once and then for B 20 times who ruined this for everyone else...