1 Lambert: I still feel a bit ill. Which reminds me of my second cousin Stitchbert, the tailor. Made the finest trousers in the shire. But a prodigious drinker, he was.
2 Lambert: One night he didn't come home from the inn, and his wife called the shirriffs. She was livid; told them not to bother bringing him home if he was drunk again.
3 Lambert: They found him lying in the trash out the back of the tavern, reeking of liquor. But they took him home anyway.
4 Mordekai: Why would they return him?
4 Lambert: He was hobbit tight in the waste.

Oh come on, you all love it.

Shirriffs are the law enforcers of hobbit towns in Tolkien's Middle-earth stories.

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2018-11-21 Rerun commentary: I mentioned in the annotation for comic #3622 that I've drawn up Lambert's family tree, as so far revealed. The fact that Stitchbert is a second cousin meant I had to extend things back to Lambert's maternal grandfather Dickbert and then down the descendants of Dickbert's brother Harrybert (Lambert's great-uncle). But Stitchbert is Harrybert's grandson. It still hasn't been revealed who forms the connection through the intermediate generation: either Harrybert's daughter (Stitchbert's mother) or Harrybert's son (Stitchbert's father).

So there's room for future revelations regarding Stitchbert's side of the family.