1 [caption]: Berlin, 1933:
1 Erwin: Hauptmann Haken! There has been an explosion in die Reichstag! Die Nazi Party candidate for Chancellor has been injured!
2 Haken: {with two hands, and no scar on his face} Come, Erwin! We must risk our lives for die honesty und integrity of German politics!
3 [caption]: Later... {in a hospital room}
3 Erwin: Your bravery has saved die Nazi candidate. But his body is so badly burnt, die doctors must extract his brain and keep it in die jar.
4 Haken: {Lying in hospital bed, with scar on face and missing his left hand} Hmmm. Well, this will guarantee him die big sympathy vote.

And I know this appears to contradict real history.

But then this is not real history, is it?

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2022-02-22 Rerun commentary: Hauptmann is a rank used in the German army, usually considered equivalent to a captain. Of course before he became a Kolonel, Haken was a Hauptmann.

This reminds me of the old joke:

Q: What was Captain Hook called before he got his hook?
A: Captain Hand.

However, Kolonel Haken was not previously known as Hauptmann Hände.