1 Lambert: Did I ever tell you about the time my Uncle Bilbert was put in charge of the Shire council?
1 Alvissa: No...
2 Lambert: Nobody ever wanted to fill out all the bureaucratic forms, but Bilbert succeeded in getting people to fill them out eagerly.
2 Alvissa: How?
3 Lambert: He used a special liquid of <ahem> his own devising in the fountain pens.
3 Alvissa: You don't mean...?
4 Lambert: Yep. It was a hobbit form ink substance.