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1 Ophelia: Hello, Tolkien estate?
2 Ophelia: Yes. My name is Ophelia Stewart and I'm a director interested in making a film of The Lord of the Rings.
3 Ophelia: Er... well... um... probably nothing you've heard of.
4 Ophelia: <sigh> "Harry Potter and the Incredibly Handsome Exchange Student."
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Just to clear up any confusion: in this story continuity, nobody has made a film of The Lord of the Rings.
Hey, Shakespeare's alive in the 21st century. I think I can get away with one or two other little changes.
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