1 Charity Collector Guy: So. I’ve been through your records and documented 21 million separate breaches of Cosmic Tax Law.
2 {beat}
3 {beat}
4 Head Death: IS THAT BAD?
4 Charity Collector Guy: Yes, but not as bad as Australian banks.

Some people might need a bit of background explanation.

Under mounting evidence of systemic corruption in the banking and financial industry in Australia, the Australian Government set up the Royal Commission into Misconduct in the Banking, Superannuation and Financial Services Industry in December 2017. High Court Justice Kenneth Hayne presided over 68 days of public hearings and delivered his report in February 2019.

Some of the findings:

• ANZ Bank systematically failed to verify living expenses of home loan customers before approving loans. They also charged over 450,000 customers the wrong interest rates over a period of 10 years, netting $80 million in overcharged repayments.^[1]
• Several banks and financial organisations had charged customers fees for services that were never given to the customers. In many cases such fees continued to be charged to the accounts of people after they had died. The estimated total of these "fees for no service" was $850 million.^[2]
• National Australia Bank operated an illegal "introducer" scheme, paying commissions to people referring customers to the bank for loans, resulting in many referrers falsifying documents and paying bribes to get loans approved under conditions where the customer should have been denied as a finance risk. In separate criminal proceedings related to this practice, multiple branch managers were found guilty of fraud.^[3]
• Several banks and institutions pressured customers into "junk" credit insurance policies attached to credit cards, personal loans, and home mortgages, which paid out an average of only 11% of the revenue generated for the banks. The banks also overcharged on premiums, in many cases continuing to collect payments after the termination of the loans (and the insurance cover).^[4]
• Commonwealth Bank of Australia breached laws of the Anti-Money Laundering and Counter-Terrorism Financing Act on 53,700 separate occasions in failing to report large cash transactions processed by automated deposit machines capable of transferring money out of Australia without oversight.^[5]

The three named banks above are three of the "Big Four" banks in Australia. The fourth, Westpac, got off relatively unscathed during the Royal Commission, despite admitting that it approved over 10,000 bad loans that never should have been approved^[6]. But after the Commission report was handed down, it become public knowledge that Westpac had breached the Anti-Money Laundering and Counter-Terrorism Financing Act on over 23 million occasions. What's more, the money transfers they failed to report included many to known child sex trafficking operations in the Philippines and South-East Asia^[7].

We always hated our banks, but now we know that Australian banks and the money-hungry people who run them are truly evil.

[1] Royal Commission into Misconduct in the Banking, Superannuation and Financial Services Industry, transcript of proceedings, 13 March 2018, pages 38-39.

[2] Banking royal commission calls for compensation, crackdowns and an overhaul of financial regulators.

[3] ASIC takes NAB to court over home loan 'introducer' scheme, open to a maximum $500 million fine.

[4] 'Pitiful payouts' from 'junk' credit insurance sold by major banks with loans and credit cards.

[5] CBA risks massive fines over anti-money laundering, terrorism financing law breaches.

[6] Westpac exposed to potential lawsuit over billions of dollars in irresponsible home loans.

[7] Westpac faces fines over 'serious and systemic' anti-money laundering breaches, AUSTRAC says.