1 Kyros: {points to Elvish sign} It reads: The Doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter.
2 Alvissa: What's that mean?
2 Kyros: If you are a friend, say the password and the doors will open.
3 Kyros: Make camp. I may need to think about this puzzle for several tedious hours.
4 Lambert: Or just cast knock and we can go straight in.
4 Kyros: Oh. Good idea.

2011-12-26 Rerun commentary: Yep, another joke about how Gandalf could have bypassed a major plot obstacle if only he'd known a simple second level magic-user spell from Dungeons & Dragons.

Of course the power level of Dungeons & Dragons and the way magic works are significantly different to the magic seen in Middle-earth, as several readers have pointed out on the previous occasion I joked about this. I'm well aware of that fact, but that doesn't stop me using it to get a cheap gag. :-)

The script seen in the comic is authentic, painstakingly hand-copied by me from an illustration. On to a Post-it note, which I then stuck onto the wall. I hope that somewhere out there, a Tolkien language geek is smiling inwardly that I took the bother to get it right.