1 Haken: The Honourable Herr Schliemannian Chair Professor Doktor Doktor Jones, CBE, DCM, FRS, JP. Is that it?
2 Minnesota Jones: Oh well now you've got it all wrong! JP comes before FRS. Any idiot knows that!
3 Haken: The Honourable Herr Schliemannian Chair Professor Doktor Doktor Jones, CBE, DCM, JP, FRS. Any last words?
4 Minnesota Jones: Well I should most certainly say so!
4 Nazi 1: {firing squad member, to Haken} Shall we come back after lunch, Herr Kolonel?

2016-04-16 Rerun commentary: It's good to have some last words prepared, in case you ever need them.

And you will...

It's more a matter of how much time you get to think and compose yourself, and then put your thoughts into speech. So it pays to have a couple of different versions ready:

1. The thoughtful speech, that can be orated leisurely while on your deathbed, surrounded by loved ones, before you slip peacefully away.
2. The witty pre-mortality quip that you can peel off in a split second, to guarantee that anyone in the vicinity when a piano falls on you* or a ravenous bear leaps out from behind a nearby hedge** can be impressed by your stoic and punningly appropriate witticism in a time of ultimate crisis.

* "I guess it's a good time to B flat."

** "How embarrassing, taken out bear handed."