1 {scene: The vast, dim, Hall of Dworin.}
1 Draak: Draak smell bad smell...
1 Dwalin: Thut'll be thu latrines. {translation: That'll be the latrines.}
2 Draak: No. Real bad smell. Like orc.
2 Dwalin: Aye, thu latrines. {translation: Yes, the latrines.}
3 Draak: Lot and lot and lot of orc...
3 Dwalin: Thu latrines, I tell ye! {translation: The latrines, I tell you!}
3 {A high shot shows a suspicious and very large group of ill-defined figures closing in on our heroes, brandishing flaming torches to dispel a small fraction of the clinging darkness in the enormous hall. The party seem to be unaware of them.}
4 Lambert: Frankly, from the sound of those latrines, I'd rather face orcs...
4 Sting: {singing} Young teacher, the subject, of schoolgirl fantasy...

I thought of using the word garderobe here instead of latrine, but I decided that might be a little too obscure and spoil the effect of the joke.

But garderobes are pretty odd things to think about, for someone used to modern plumbing.

Lambert's sword, Sting, is singing the opening line of Don't Stand So Close to Me, which is a song about a schoolgirl's crush on a teacher, and the awkward positions this puts the two of them in.

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2016-10-15 Rerun commentary: Any connections between the main joke of this strip and the subject matter of Don't Stand So Close To Me are left as an exercise for the reader.

The orange glows in the third panel are supposed to be the orc torches, by the way, in case anyone was still trying to figure that out.