1 Me: Need some fake Latin for a comic. Let's try IRC.
2 IRC: * Now talking in #latin
2 IRC: * Topic is 'Latine loqui coactus sum'
2 IRC: * Set by GranicusXLIII on Sun Mar 02 06:29:55
2 IRC: <felesniger> ave h0m0! aetas/sexus/locus?
2 IRC: <PullusCalidus> S 2 calidus??!!!
2 IRC: <dmmaus> er... sorry, no personal details
2 IRC: <felesniger> id nimis, aequibilis, claudus est!
2 IRC: <marcusXVI> c3rt3! lig3t intr0rupt0r 3st!
2 IRC: * felesniger excelsus-V's marcusXVI. a\/e h0m0!!!
2 IRC: <dmmaus> Doesn't anyone speak English here?
2 IRC: <PullusCalidus> ceu!
2 IRC: <felesniger> quasi!
2 IRC: <marcusXVI> \/3lut!
3 Me: What a factio of perditori!

This is for all the Latin scholars out there. Well, I hope at least one of you gets a laugh out of it. (Probably more from my poor attempt at understanding Latin grammar than anything else...)

For the rest of us, here's an ad hoc translation:

* Now talking in #latin
* Topic is 'I have this compulsion to speak in Latin'
* Set by Granicus43 on Sun Mar 02 06:29:55
<blackcat> hello d00d! age/sex/location?
<HotChick> R U hot??!!!
<dmmaus> er... sorry, no personal details
<blackcat> that's, like, so lame!
<marcus16> y3s! I am a l33t haXor!
* blackcat high-5's marcus16. w00t d00d!!!
<dmmaus> Doesn't anyone speak English here?
<HotChick> as if!
<blackcat> as if!
<marcus16> 4s 1f!

What a bunch of losers!

Ralph Melton points out that "PullusCalidus" is masculine in gender. He also charitably says that "Some might interpret this as an error on the cartoonist's part; I prefer to interpret it as a subtle commentary on the likely sex of someone choosing the name 'HotChick'."

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2011-12-20 Rerun commentary: Ah, my first flirtation with Latin. I never studied any Latin, and have only the most rudimentary understanding of the language and its grammar. Over the years I actually used Latin several times in the comic, and every time I did so I'd get e-mails from readers pointing out the various mistakes I'd made.

This one was no exception.

I really get a kick out of imagining Ancient Romans having access to Internet technology, and imagining the types of netspeak they'd come up with. I was very proud of my coinage of "intr0rupt0or" for "haXor" and "excelsis-V" for "high-5".