1 Marlowe: Suboptimal news, team. The ISO 9001 UScon redraft has been re-IDed as a value-negated re-priority and rescheduled in an indefinite hiatal re-condition.
2 Marlowe: Ms Ipsum, you're to relocate your person to the U.S. via way of the most promptly immediate departure first thing tomorrow morning A.M. A.S.A.P.
3 Loren: Oh. Right.
4 Mercutio: {to Ophelia} Do you find it disturbing that she understood that without drawing a state diagram?
4 Ophelia: The buzzwords were disturbing enough.

"via way of"???

I love writing bad English.

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2016-03-26 Rerun commentary: "Suboptimal" has become a bit of a catch-word in my office. I think someone used it once in a buzzwordy situation, and it quickly caught on as an overly silly way to say something is bad. Now my circle of friends uses "suboptimal" all the time to describe things.

You should try it!