1 Mercutio: I'm trying to hack Loren's US government account. Can you engage her in conversation and subtly quiz her for likely passwords?
2 Mercutio: Often people use things like old pet names or their mother's maiden name.
2 Ophelia: Gotcha.
3 {scene change: by the office water cooler}
3 Loren: ... bringing the Ipsum family name to America, although my mother is actually half-Egyptian on her father's side.
4 Ophelia: Egyptian? Really? What's her maiden name?
4 Loren: Dolores Sit-Amet.

If you're one of those people who hate the annotations because they "ruin the joke", stop reading now. I mean it.

Anyone who actually appreciates the time and effort I put into making sure that the more obscure jokes provide an educational experience, rather than just being baffling and unfunny may keep reading.

Actually, in this case, the explanation is slightly involved, and best done with a simple link to another strip and specifically the external link in its annotation.

Read the following only if you hate the annotations and have ignored my instruction above:

In fact, Loren is a Martian. This will be revealed in strip #1500. Also, your girlfriend (or boyfriend) is cheating on you.

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2016-03-15 Rerun commentary: Of course things like pet names and mother's maiden names are ridiculously insecure as verifiers of identity. Especially these days when so many website registrations ask you to enter them as answers to "security questions". Someone out there has a huge database of people's mother's maiden names and the names of their first pets, the streets where they grew up, and the names of their first school teachers.

In a world where information is power, this is no doubt leading to some sort of global voodoo mind control ritual.