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1 Ophelia: < Boo hoo hoo!... >
2 Shakespeare: What's wrong, Ophelia?
2 Ophelia: I've broken up with my fiancé!
3 {beat}
4 Ophelia: Well, isn't someone going to comfort me?
4 Mercutio: That's one less birthday present you have to worry about.
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Gaaaah... this reminds me.... I need to get a present for my wife's birthday.
Within... the next week!
I am terrible at remembering occasions that conventionally require presents. My preference is to ignore birthdays and simply buy gifts for people when you see something that you think they'd like.
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