1 Ophelia: < Boo hoo hoo!... >
2 Shakespeare: What's wrong, Ophelia?
2 Ophelia: I've broken up with my fiancé!
3 {beat}
4 Ophelia: Well, isn't someone going to comfort me?
4 Mercutio: That's one less birthday present you have to worry about.

Gaaaah... this reminds me.... I need to get a present for my wife's birthday.

Within... the next week!

I am terrible at remembering occasions that conventionally require presents. My preference is to ignore birthdays and simply buy gifts for people when you see something that you think they'd like.

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2022-03-13 Rerun commentary: My wife and I have since come to an arrangement, where we just agree to not bother getting each other gifts for specific occasions.

Or at least, I've come to an arrangement where I agree to not bother getting her anything.