1 Host: Your next question is for the first safe level of $1000.
1 Nigerian Finance Minister: I'm ready.
2 Host: Over which of these Internet protocols is it safest to transmit credit card details? A. HTTP. B. HTTPS. C. IRC. D. Facebook.
3 Nigerian Finance Minister: Well, they're all safe for sending details to the Nigerian Government.
4 Host: This is obviously some strange use of the word "safe" that I wasn't previously aware of.

I was actually going to have the question be "Over which of these Internet protocols is it safe to transmit credit card details?" But then I figured there'd probably be dozens of people out there willing to argue the point that even HTTPS is not really safe for that.

Though it seems to be safer than handing your credit card over to a shop assistant and watching as they scan it through the card reader thingy.

Basically, the only way to use your credit card that's truly safe is to stick it under your mattress and never let it anywhere near a retail purchase.

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2023-08-27 Rerun commentary: It's interesting to think that nowadays I routinely use a credit card to purchase things over the Internet, and don't even think twice about typing the card details into a website. I mean, I wouldn't do it on a dodgy site that I don't trust or that is selling snake oil or NFTs or whatever, but essentially any legitimate retail site seems fine.

Oh lord. I just had a thought. What if I resurrected the Nigerian Finance Minister theme with a story arc about NFTs?