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1 Mercutio: All right. All we have to do is get your grandmother and Robert Pakington to form a relationship.
2 Shakespeare: “Mrs Arden, your husband’s been killed in a tragic acting accident. But we brought this replacement for you. He’s a politician.”
3 Mercutio: You’d be great as a police officer who has to deliver bad news.
4 Shakespeare: Because adding even worse news makes it seem not so bad?
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Acting is a dangerous business, what with all these tragic acting accidents.
I was trying to think of some other activities with similar danger levels to acting that I could facetiously say also suffer from tragic accidents, but every activity I can think of is actually more credible to have a tragic accident while doing it.
Tragic gardening accident? Visions of lawnmowers and wood chippers.
Tragic dish washing accident? Sharp knives and stabby implements.
Tragic dog walking accident? Dog lead gets caught in a speeding bicycle. (I have nightmares about this one when walking my dog and cyclists go past on narrow paths. Seriously, get off your bike and walk it.)
Tragic crossword puzzle accident? That one word you just don't know that will haunt you for the rest of your days...
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