1 Portia: Sometimes my parents can be so... Elizabethan. Lucky uncle Mercutio gave me his old laptop and I can videocall the party.
2 Portia: Hmm. What’s this? Time travel software??
3 Portia: Wonder if I can get it working. I could go back and see my father as a child. Ha ha!
4 SFX: ZUUURCH! {Portia disappears in a time machine special effect...}

So begins the Adventures of Portia Shakespeare!

Also: the party couldn't have been all that bad. It's started while the sun is still up.