1 Mercutio: Right, I've reinstalled Word for you. Give it a test.
1 Shakespeare: Okay.
2 Shakespeare [typing]: Arwen rode hard and fast, but the wraiths were riding harder and faster! They would catch her by the river!
3 Clippy the Microsoft Office Assistant [on screen]: It looks like you're trying to write a boilerplate Tolkien ripoff. I have document templates that can help.
4 Mercutio: Well that explains pretty much the entire fantasy section at the local MegaBooks...

Will is of course writing the novelisation of the movies, so Arwen is carrying Frodo to Rivendell, rather than Frodo having to fight off the Ringwraiths himself after being sent on alone by Glorfindel.

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2014-05-13 Rerun commentary: I used "MegaBooks" as a pseudo-generic name for a giant bookstore chain, which would be recognisable as the name of a bookstore chain, without actually being the name of a bookstore chain.

It seems several other people have since also thought this would be a good name for a bookstore.