The Star Wars Cast

You know all these characters already. If you don't, what the heck are you doing reading this comic? Go learn some popular culture, then come back.

Star Wars Theme Bonus Movie Chronology Strip Index!

Episode I - The Phantom Menace

• Flashback to 1998 and the excitement we all felt at seeing the first trailers for Star Wars Episode I:
• Episode I: THE PHANTOM MENACE
• "I have a bad feeling about this..."
• "A communications disruption can only mean one thing. Invasion."
• "Coruscant. The entire planet is one big city."
• "And not only do they need to import ludicrous amounts of food, but think of all the sewage!"
• "Ok, even if you could grow enough food on-planet to feed everyone on Coruscant, consider how much energy you'd need."
• "But iffa yousa planet bein' too hot, cannot yousa use dissa heat energy to runna som-a freezin' units, muy muy?"
• "And another thing!"
• "Meesa be thinking. What iffa you build-a some grand towers into-a space to take dissa heat away from da planet, muy muy?"
• "No. He will not be trained."
• "No. The boy will not be trained."
• "Hi mum! I'm on Naboo!"

Episode II - Attack of the Clones

• "Ani? My goodness, you've grown."
• "Wanna buy some death sticks?"
• "Obi-Wan. What help to you, can I be?"
• "Lost a planet Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing, how embarrassing."
• "Curse this fog. I can't see a thing."
• "It must be difficult having sworn your life to the Jedi."

Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

• "Good, Anakin, good. I knew you could do it. Kill him. Kill him now!"
• "Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life..."
• "It's over Anakin! I have the high ground."
• "Lord Vader..."
• "Anakin may have turned to the Dark Side, but he left a legacy. Amidala, you're pregnant."
• "So Ani hassa become Darth Vader, Amidala issa dead after having twins, and Yoda issa gone into exile on Dagobah."

Episode IV - A New Hope

• "There goes another one."
• "How did I get into this mess? I really don't know how. We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life."
• "No... no... You. I suppose you're programmed for etiquette and protocol."
• "Tomorrow I want you to take those droids down to Anchorhead and have their memories erased."
• "Then the droid does belong to you."
• "Your memory must be faulty, little droid."
• "Your father's lightsabre. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight."
• "This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope."
• "This battlestation is the ultimate power in the Galaxy!"
• "Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force."
• "Don't try to frighten us with your sorceror's ways, Lord Vader."
• "Tell me, young Luke, how does this vehicle hover?"
• "Mos Eisley starship landing facility. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."
• "He's not wearing any pants!"
• "Gah, what's that awful noise?!"
• "Oochlayyoo-ma... Chess bookoo-tootachkeest-CHKREN-ko, ya ol-chka."
• "Oochlayyoo-ma... Chess bookoo-tootachkeest-CHKREN-ko, ya ol-chka."
• "In order to destroy Alderaan we need to generate 10³⁸ joules of energy with the superlaser."
• "In order to destroy Alderaan we need to generate 10³⁸ joules of energy with the superlaser."
• "Since you are reluctant to provide us with the location of the Rebel base, I have chosen to test this station's destructive power..."
• "I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced."
• "He made a fair move. Screaming about it won't help."
• "With the blast shield down, I can't even see. How am I supposed to fight?"
• "You don't believe in the Force, do you?"
• "I sense something... A presence I've not felt since..."
• "Aren't you a little short to be a stormtrooper?"
• "Back on Tatooine you said, 'Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.'"
• "Listen to them, they're dying, Artoo! Curse my metal body! I wasn't fast enough!"
• "When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master."
• "Orbiting the planet at maximum velocity. The moon with the Rebel base will be in range in thirty minutes."
• "So you're telling me that because of orbital physics we can't get around this planet any faster to destroy the Rebel base?"
• "Commander, what happens if we blow up the planet between us and the Rebel base?"
• "We've analysed their attack, sir, and there is a danger. Should I have your ship standing by?"
• "Biggs, Wedge, let's close it up. We're going in. We're going in full throttle."

Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

• "What are you doing? You're not actually going into an asteroid field?"
• "I'm not looking for a friend. I'm looking for a Jedi Master."
• "Look, I'm sure it's delicious. I just don't understand why we can't see Yoda now."
• "Why wish you become Jedi? Hmmm?"
• "No! Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
• "When ajar it is."
• "How four banthas into a speeder do you fit?"
• "The Dark Side, pull you to evil it will. Then cover your face you must..."
• "Master Yoda... why do you always talk backwards?"
• "The Force is strong with him. The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi."
• "We've got to find a safe port around here. Well. This is interesting. Lando."
• "Lord Vader, we've discovered where the old Jedi Master hid your son."
• "There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father."
• "Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father."
• "Obi-Wan never told you about my father."

Episode VI - Return of the Jedi

• "I assure you, Lord Vader, my men are working as fast as they can. The Emperor asks the impossible. I need more men."
• "Artoo Detoowha bo Seethreepiowha ey toota odd mischka Jabba du Hutt."
• "Cha too ma laya conky, ya neema loka nyan."
• "You've done well, Lord Vader. And now I sense you wish to continue your search for young Skywalker."
• "When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not. Hmm?"
• "Too late you are! Decided not to die yet, I have."
• "When I first knew him, your father was already a great pilot. But I was amazed how strongly the Force was with him."
• "Yes, Lord Vader? I sense something disturbing you. What is it?"
• "My master, there is something wrong with the location chosen for the new Death Star."
• "My master, the men are overworked on the construction of the Death Star."
• "My master, this open shaft in your chamber leading to the Death Star reactor core is dangerous."
• "The rebel fleet is massing for an attack on the forest moon of Endor."
• "Once the shield is down, our cruisers will create a perimeter, while the fighters fly into the superstructure and attempt to knock out the main reactor."
• "Vader's on that ship."
• "Dum te-dum..."
• "As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station."
• "Good. Use your aggressive feelings, boy! Let the hate flow through you."
• "Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you."

No movie in particular

• "Hologram recorder/projector?"
• "Dum-de-dum... de-doo..."
• "Meesa pick pod racing!"
• Meanwhile, at the Imperial Stormtrooper Training Academy:
• "Time for Jedi to check e-mail, it is."
• "... so it's clear, your Honour, from this new footage that my client acted purely in self defence, and thus must be acquitted."
• "Hmmm. It's about time I did another Star Wars strip, but for the life of me I can't think of anything funny."
• "Every year, people ask me if I'm doing anything special for 19 September: Talk Like a Pirate Day. Starting from around the beginning of September."